Summer holiday : A belated post : Part 1

In June this year we took a vacation (not really with 2 young kids) rather trip to the US. It was mainly to attend my 2 nephews thread ceremonies in Minneapolis, but we also decided to visit the rest of the immediate family there.

The flight journeys were bad. The flights itself were ok, S was a real sweetheart and slept by herself, ate pretty much what we gave her and didn't require too much entertainment. A was difficult only in the feeding (her milk problem was very much in full force at that time) but was fine otherwise and didnt cry too much, slept in the bassinet and was fine during take off and landing. Only, the journeys were too long. The first leg from Mumbai to Amsterdam was ok, both kids slept through about half of it. The flight was delayed by 3 hours -was supposed to take off at 2 am and took off only at 5 am so it was a pretty bad night for us at the airport. So the kids ended up with half their night nap in the airport and half in the flight, so they were awake for longer than we had initially planned.  Because of the delay in starting, the connection at Amsterdam was very short and we barely had time to rush from our gate to the gate for boarding. Had ideally wanted to walk around a bit, get some coffee and try to recharge ourselves but none of that. The next leg was bad since it was very long -all the way to San Francisco and all of us were exhausted by the time we reached there. To top it all the luggage did not make the connection at Amsterdam so we had to survive with the hand luggage till the next evening. Cautious me  had packed three sets each for the kids and two for us, so we managed, after multiple trips to the laundry downstairs.

San Francisco : S enjoyed herself, but A and I were stuck inside most of the time (since she was refusing to drink milk, and i would keep trying every half hour and finally have to give by palladu, which become difficult outside). The day after we reached, the hubby and his sister took S to the SF zoo. The pictures are amazing and she saw a lot of animals that she had only read about/seen on TV till then. She got a plastic frog whose eyes pop out if you squeeze it hard and that was her companion for most of the trip. The next day all of us went to Santa Clara beach. Its a 2 hour drive from Palo Alto where the sis in law stays and its a really beautiful drive through sea on one side and mountains on the other. We had a nice lunch at a restaurant by the beach, and then the hubby and S  played in the water and build sandcastles while A, my sis in law and I hung around in the sand. 

The next day we did some shopping in the morning, I got a Stanford shirt for A (yeah i know!!, but S has one and its so cute), then got hit by some bad jet lag in the afternoon so our plans to go into SF during the day were shelved and we just crashed at home. I took S and A to the fountain at Stanford and then to the neighbourhood park, and while A found it a bit cold, S really enjoyed herself and refused to come home. 

The next day we left for Minneapolis in the afternoon and because of the time difference, and again delay in the flight (Delta sucks! all our flights were delayed at least an hour) we reached only at 9:30 p.m. 

The first day at Minneaopolis, I left A at home with my mom (so happy to see my mom there after the difficult days at SF) and we went to Mall of America with S. Its the largest mall in America, and right in the middle of it there's a big amusement park. S loved it as it is a Nickelodeon theme park and the kiddie rides are all based on Dora characters- there was the Dora ferris wheel, the swiper the fox car ride, Azul the train and so on. She enjoyed the carousel the most and went twice on it. The hubby is not much of an amusement park guy and kept himself amused by buying the Ipad. He was looking for it in SF but the shops were out so was delighted to find it in the mall. I packed off S with the hubby after lunch and enjoyed the scary rollercoasters with my nephews. Wow they are quite brave, dont think i was so brave at their age. 

The next day again my poor mom was again made in charge of A while we set off for Lake Como. We first went paddleboating on the lake, its really beautiful, the weather was cold enough not to feel the effort of the paddling and the scenery around the lake was just beautiful. It was S's first time on a boat and she was quite excited. My brothers and their sons kept playing the fool and switching from the back to the front and the lifeguards were getting all stressed since that wasnt allowed in the middle of the lake!! After that we went to the amusement park at Lake Como. Again S loved the carousel, but this was a much bigger one- actually it was a historical piece dating back to the early 1900's and it had beautiful big horses. The amusement park was not very big- some small train rides for S and a couple of scary rides for the boys. We then had a Huge lunch at an Italian place on the way back to my brother place, the waitress managed to pour beer on my brother so the starters were free! The portions were quite huge (isnt everything?) but we were quite hungry and stuffed ourselves. In the night there was a small Puja at my brothers place to inaugarate the first of the Upanaynas. There was a nice dinner after that- for all the relatives and friends who had come down for the same. My brother has a lovely porch and back garden and the weather was just right for the adults to sit on the porch and have their drinks/snacks/gossip while the kids played in the grass. There were some vigorous football games going on and S fell down a couple of times, but all part and parcel I guess. My mom's siblings met again for the first time in many years and I met some cousins whom i had not met for ages so there were many Kodak moments and general chit chat. I felt really glad that we had made the effort to come for the upanaynas as it was a big deal for my brother. 

Next morning it was an early start to the Hindu temple for my elder nephew's upanayna. Somehow managed to get both kids dressed and out by 7:30 (our family has all late starters). The ceremony itself was not long and the priest kept explaining the significance of the ceremonies. My nephew looked a bit apprehensive in the beginning but settled down shortly. Being a Monday there were only the close relatives and friends for the function so it was not intimidating. My brother and sis in law looked considerably relieved by the end of the day- i guess its really tough to organise such functions in the States since you have to do everything yourself. Even the party the previous night, there were not enough people to have a caterer, so all the dishes need to be cleaned up, house needs to be cleaned before everyone comes etc. Even the items required for the function, change of clothes for the children/parents etc, the saris/kurtas etc for the guests, I realised how much effort my parents also must have put in for our weddings. 

The next day my hubby set off with S to the Grand Canyon. My parents, first brother and his family (not the brother whose children were having the thread ceremony) were going for 4 days and we thought it would be nice for S and the hubby to also go along. I decided to stay back with A because we were anyway doing a lot of travelling on the trip and she needed to get used to one place for some time and secondly she was still being very fussy with her milk so would have been difficult to do a lot of travelling which was required for the trip to GC. The flight itself was 3 hours, then 4 hours drive, then stay about 1 hour away, drive to different places everyday. S had a great time, GC was beautiful, she went on her first helicopter ride (we had initially planned for her not to go, but the hubby decided to take her along at the last minute), she was pampered by my mom and sister in law and freaked out with her cousins- my sis in law has a video of her jumping on and beating up her elder cousins who quietly took it all (since they were after all the elder brothers!). I managed to get some relaxation with A whose feeding improved suddenly (thank God) and managed to spend some time with my cousin who had some down from Michigan for the week to attend both the ceremonies. We were very close as kids and ever since she's moved to the States I've not been able to spend much time with her. So this was some good time together - we didn't get to do any partying (didn't want to leave A with my sis in law since she was anyway very busy with guests and was a new face for A) but we did go to many nice places and spent time catching up on gossip/old times. I really wish my kids had cousins who stayed in the same country so that they could meet often and develop this kind of closeness. My nephews are all in the States and though we end up meeting once in 2 years/ sometimes once a year its only for 3-4 days, and not weeks at a stretch like we used to have. Weeks of summer holidays with nothing to do but climb trees, make up secret gangs with neighbours, play on the beach/the terrace etc. Anyway i am digressing and coming back to the Minneapolis stay, the four days that S was in GC went by in a flash, and I missed the brat but was also glad that she was having fun and not missing out on anything because I was being fussy about A.

More in the next post. 

Weekly snippets

1. Ever since i started working part time from home I try to take the kids to the park everyday. We usually go around 5:15 and return by 6:15 as it becomes dark and mosquitoes start biting. I try for Joggers park since there is a nice garden there where A can crawl around while S plays in the sandpit. Only problem is it takes about 10 mins by car to get there and i find it difficult to drive on a steep uphill road, which is the only congestion free route to the park. Also there are only 2 swings there and about 200 kids so S never gets to go on the swing. Just play in the sand, see the ducks/geese/rabbit/parrots and we are back. So we usually go there about 2-3 times a week and other times i take only S to the nearby park, which used to be much less crowded. It has 6 swings, and many slides and S can usually get a swing for about 10 mins. But lately this park has also started getting very crowded, and one day when we went there on a holiday, which was also a festival, there were tons of older kids there. I had to literally fight with them to give S a turn- the swings are meant for kids under 8 and there were much older kids playing on them. I finally told them that they are not meant to use these swings and that they would get spoilt if older and heavier kids sat on it (felt like a meanie after that!).  The slides were worse, the older kids were pushing and shoving each other and S also got a couple of pushes and shoves and had to struggle to climb up and use the slides. I lost my cool a couple of times and fired the children (why were there mothers not saying anything to them? too busy chatting with each other i guess) and later felt bad as i was quite harsh. I thought at that time, am so happy we are moving to Zurich where my kids will not have to fight with other kids to get access to normal things like swings/slides etc and will not be pushed around and have to wait to use these facilities. There's a problem of  plenty in Zurich and very few people to use the facilities (someone told me they usually walk about 10 mins to reach the station and on most days dont see a single other person! can you imagine this in Bombay, not even at 2 am in the night!). But then i was not so sure. I dont want the kids to grow up in an environment where they are not used to any ambiguity, no waiting, or sharing/fighting with other kids. Then later, when they go to any other place where there are many people, they will find it very difficult to adjust. They would probably refuse to play in the parks in Bangalore (at my moms place) or Bombay as they would be scared of the crowds! And what is life without a bit of adjusting, i say? As they say, solpa adjust madi!

2. Gym is not going so well. I ran for 6 mins today (up from 4 yippee!) then felt really sick afterwards. collapsed into the auto, just about made it home and collapsed on the bed. Its not like i am overdoing it (6 mins running, 10 mins walking and 5 mins cycle is hardly overexerting!), but i guess its the lack of sleep in the night which is making it so difficult. A has started getting up every 2 hours and doesnt go back to sleep easily. She doesnt seem to be hungry, just restless. So my schedule is, sleep around 12 (she sleeps at 11 and i usually surf the net/ watch TV for a bit after), wake up at 2:30, try to make her sleep till 3:15, wake up at 4:45, give her milk and make her sleep again, then up again around 6-615, after that the maid takes over and I sleep till 8:45. Hurrah for the maid, dont know what i would do without her. But the point is, A is not 9 months and 10 days old and she's still not sleeping properly in the night. Its been more than a year that I've slept properly (last 3 months of pregnancy i didnt get much sleep either) and now i'm really feeling exhausted! Most of the days i get some sleep in the afternoon, but the days i dont it becomes really awful by evening. Hope A gets into a proper night routine soon!

3. I posted earlier about resigning. No further updates, looks like i;ll have to work till the 15th of February. My boss is showing his true colours now i guess- till now he was ok with my work from home, the other day when he called me for a conference call and couldnt get through my phone it seems he told my colleagues that i was chilling out/on vacation or some rubbish like that. I luckily called at that very point of time and joined the conference, but i really don't like this sort of talk. if you agreed for the work from home and docked my pay as well then at least respect it in front of other colleagues. And its not like people in office are working all the time right? Half the time they are discussing the stock market/cricket match/movies or are in the canteen. Anyway, all the better for me, since i plan to chill now and not take any stress about work.

Off to see the latest Harry potter today. Hubby is babysitting (now that mom is in Bangalore we cant go out for a movie together) 

Resigned to my fate!

I resigned from work today. Was so much easier than I thought it would be. When I told the hubby about it he asked me how i felt. Probably thought i was feeling upset about leaving my job and disrupting a career i had built with a lot of effort and hard work. But not really. I feel very relieved and free. It has been a struggle ever since S was born, and if you see my earlier post about whether to work or not, a large part of the decision to continue was because there was an option to continue, with maids/help from mom etc . I felt the pressure of having studied hard, having worked hard and the knowledge that maybe 5 years down the line when the kids are in school I may be too long out of the workforce to get back to the level/momentum i left off. 

But now the decision is out of my hands and i am glad. I plan to focus on spending more time with the kids (this part time work from home is ok to a large extent but due to connectivity problems and the pressure of the job, and unpredictably of young children it becomes quite stressful and you end up spending less time with children that you had expected and being more stressed than you had expected), more time cultivating my hobbies- i just dont have any hobbies be it reading/playing an instrument/some sport etc /or even updating the blog and so far i was like ok i hardly get any time between the 2 kids and the job, but Zurich will be an excellent place to start cultivating some hobbies. Will be tough with 2 kids around, but maybe the hobby will just be to go to museums/art galleries, and go travelling in the weekends. 

What has probably made the decision to leave work easier is that i was in the end getting bored of the job. Some of the deals were very challenging, the money was good, and my colleagues were nice, but not being a part of the front end means that you cannot dictate the kind of work you end up doing, and you are often asked to do something in the last minute, with minimal information. I should have addressed these points and asked for a more challenging role in the last 1-2 years but i also took it as an opportunity to continue in a role where i am familiar with what needs to be done so that  I can focus on the kids. I might even decide to change fields in Zurich (of course not getting a spouse work permit might make it even easier to take the decision to study something else and take that up)

Anyways, the deed is done, i am officially without a job, and off the workforce (ok i need to serve out my notice period) . 

Following a new regime

I have to achieve three important things before we leave for Zurich and that is

1. Lose weight

2. Learn cooking

3. Learn German

The first, you may say is not imperative, but i have really put on a lot of weight after A's birth and have a big tummy, and if i don't make the effort now to get back in shape, i might not get the time in Zurich. So today i hit the gym after 3 and 1/2 years. And was it tiring!!! Before i had S i could run for half an hour and do all the weight machines (though at low levels) pretty easily. Today i ran for 4 mins!!! and then took 5 mins to recover. After 6 mins of cycling and some few stomach crunches i was ready to retire for the day

The second initiative went no better. My cook does not come on Sundays and i thought i will take the opportunity to cook . I started with the easiest Bibibelebath. I have the powder from my mom's place and all you really need to do is boil vegetables, dal and rice and then add the powder and imli and salt and you are done. This took me 1 hour and 15 mins and i forgot to add half the vegetables and managed to fill the entire sink with dirty dishes. Am feeling very worried suddenly!!!

The hubby  manages to cook easily, he made noodles and a schezwan dish in half the time in the evening. Does anyone know any good Indian dabbawallas in Zurich? Help...

On the third point, a colleague's wife who is also moving to Zurich has passed on the lead of a German teacher in my locality. Hopefully will pick up the essentials before April.

Well, Auf Widersehn then!!

Happy Diwali

Back after a long break, seems like the only time i get to post is when i am in Bangalore. Must be something to do with having a computer with internet on all the time, and people to keep the kids busy!

A quick update

1. Back to work after 6 months maternity break from July 15th. Very hectic, got involved in 3 large deals as soon as i joined back, late night, conference calls at home after that, early morning calls, then our audit started as soon as the deal pressure eased, finally work hours became reasonable from September. On the negative sise, my mom was heavily burdened looking after both the kids for long periods without a break. A was specially troublesome, refusing to drink milk many times, and fussing for food. S was a doll, and totally adores my mom, so at least no problems on that front. On the positive side, since i put in the long hours for 21/2 months have been able to negotiate a 6 months part time work from home option from office, which means i need to work only from 11 am to 4 pm, that too from home, and go to office once in two weeks. Of course the 11-4 pm does not always work, and the biggest difficulty is having continuos connection so sometimes i am accessing and replying mails at 11:30 in the night. But overall colleagues have been extremely considerate and not troubled me too much outside my work hours.

2. S has started school and is happy!!! (Thank God). I was very apprehensive after her summer camp fiasco (where she vomited everyday at school and was very unhappy at the thought of school). Yes there was the initial crying and vomiting (once!) but within a week she was settled and now talks about her friends in school! She seems to be learning a lot at school and already recognises all the alphabets, talks fluently in English and Hindi, and knows her numbers as well. She is still shy in interactions with other children, but a couple of times when i have picked her up from school and she has not seen me at the door, I have seen her interact well with other kids.

3. A is now 9 months old. She crawls all over the house, stands up holding the furniture and even walks holding the furniture. She says mamma (mostly when she's upset because we've taken away something she's been stuffing into her mouth, or if she suddenly sees me but I'm busy working and cant carry her) and dadda also. She follows her sister wherever she goes, and insists only on playing with the toys/puzzles/books S is playing with. S is very patient with her and I am amazed at her patience. A has the shrillest cries i have heard and she still gets up in the night and either wants to play/cry. Cant remember S being as difficult in the nights, but i guess you tend to forget the difficult parts and only focus on the good parts. 

Both kids play together to some extent now, mostly in the evenings they are either bouncing on A's bed, or crawling all over the house (S has made a game of crawling in front of A and trying to make her follow her). 

4. Hubby has got a foreign posting and is delighted. Its a great job title /role for happy and I have always wanted to have an international posting as I think it would be wonderful for the kids. Am a bit apprehensive about the place as there's a language issue and its very cold for large parts of the year. Help is not easily available and with 2 young ones is going to be a challenge. The hubby has also warned that he would be travelling for 2 weeks every month since his is a global role. Am quite a scaredy cat in addition to being inexperience in cooking/keeping house etc etc and i asked my sis in law, how did she manage with her two little boys, and she said you do what you have to do. And thats it I guess, I'll do what i have to and see how things come along.

We had a great Diwali in Bangalore. S was a bit upset as first since my mom had knee replacements just before we went there (my brothers and I took turns to be with my mom - with one brother for each operation, and me after mom gets back home) and she was struggling to get up and was using the walker and was lying all the time. Very different from the ajji she was used to. But she got used to it, and used to hand my mom her walker when she tried to get up, go lie down with her, and take a lot of care when she was around her. My mom's legs are much better now, but i plan to go to Bangalore again for 2 weeks in December and spend more time with my mom. We had a nice Diwali party at home. My cousins cam over and they have kids S and A's age and S and the older ones had fun with sparklers and fountains downstairs, and later all the kids playing upstairs. We had the oil bath and pooja function in the morning though we could not burst the traditional crackers in the morning, since i was unable to buy them the previous day. But we more than made up for it, over the next few days. 

Happy Diwali again!!