Monday, February 16, 2009

Pausing to smell the roses

I came across this email which captures so nicely how busy we have become (at least i have become) in our routine lives that we cannot appreciate the good things in life.

" A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning.
He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes.
During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousands of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.
Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule.
A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk.
A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.
The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time.
This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.
In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.
Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston and the seats average $100.
This is a real story.
Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of an social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?
One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing some of the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....Thrown away. ...
Life is not a race. Take it slower.
Hear the music before the song is over. "

I like the part about the children noticing the beauty and how the parents are so fussed about keeping their routine that they drag the children away from that- so true. And childern are so curious about everything- S can look at a new box for 10 mins to figure out how it opens, what it does etc, whereas i have stopped applying my mind on anything. the funniest part is my friend sent me this mail a month back and i didn;t read it, when i read it now i forwarded it to her as well and got a earful. Guess i was too busy then to pause and smell the roses

Feeling guilty

S is unwell and its largely due to my negligence. Am feeling bad bad bad. We had gone for a party last Friday where there was a kid with a very bad cold. S started playing with her toys and putting her spoons (from her tea set) into her mouth. It did no strike me that i should be careful. maybe i was lazy, or maybe i thought she would be ok, but now 2 days later S is down with a bad cold. I should have been more careful and removed the spoons from S mouth, but she was happily munching on them and i didn't want her to be cranky there. And the silly part is that i have been so fussy with her maids- if they as much as sneeze once i ask them to take leave till they recover, and hear i just let S get exposed to a cold virus due to my laziness.
In fact the hubby warned me during the party- don't let S chew on that girl's toys but i didn;t want to make a scene. That's another problem, i don't like to make a scene in front of other people and seem too fussy, but here i should have been strict and insisted that S play with only her toys. Hope my sweety recovers soon and i learn to be more cautious.

Monday, February 2, 2009

S First interview!

S went for her first visa interview today. My little baby is all grown up. We are planning a visit to the US in April (badly need a holiday, keeping fingers crossed since boss has still not okayed my leave-as per him, my maternity leave last year was a big holiday!!!) and the hubby and I both already have US visas. We have got a separate passport for S so needed a separate visa.
Hats off to the hubby – he did everything for her visa himself- from applying for the time slot online, to getting the DD for the visa fees made, to taking her photo (on our digicam, let me tell you getting her to stand still even for a second is a big accomplishment), to getting all the docs organized to finally taking her for the visa interview. Ajji (hubby’s mom) also accompanied them to the US consulate and patiently waited outside and then brought S back home. It seems the interview officer was a jolly guy who told S that Daddy had to go outside while she had her interview, then gave a big laugh, and then asked some questions on what Mummy does and Daddy does and Bua (hubby;s sister in the US whom we are going to meet) does and then said visa would be available tomorrow. S on her part kept looking at the dividers and saying Up! Now for the next 5 days (I cannot promise longer than that) I will not nag the hubby about not looking after S enough.
Looking forward to our US holiday. I was getting a bit apprehensive about taking S on a holiday- we plan to go to three places in the US and all far away from each other so bulk of the holiday would consist of airports and flights, and even in each place we want to travel out as much as possible- S is not used to a car seat and her meal times at home are a long drawn out affair with at least 2 peopls required and tons of entertainment- how to manage during a holiday when lunches and many dinners would have to be given outside by only Mummy (since Daddy’s patience in entertaining S and feeding her lasts all of 3 mins) and without much entertainment. But just last night I read this interesting article by a couple who love to travel and trek and how they continued to do all of that even after their baby was born. They actually took their baby for a holiday in the mountains when he was only 11/2 months and for a trek in the hills (by holding him in a front sling) when he was 5 months old, and he enjoyed it. The key is to be well prepared and I would add not be too fussy- if she has only half her meal, its ok I guess she would get hungry later. As for the plane travel, I had kept 1 year as the cut off to start doing our normal activities (movies, restaurant, pubs, travel) and including S in them, so will just have to manage the plane travel..

Are people having more babies ?

I ask this question because in the last 2 weeks I have visited 3 playschools which are already full for the June 2009 session and on which I am on the waitlist. S is not even one yet and I have no plans (as of now) to send her to playschool before she is 11/2, so I was quite relaxed about this playschool admission thing. Suddenly one day in the park I met a mom who was in Pre-natal classes with me and she asked me whether I had managed to get playschool admission for S. I was quite surprised since her son is younger than S. Anyway she had been to the top 2 playschools in my area some 3-4 times and she was on the waitlist for the June 2009 batch and informed me that only June 2010 is available now. I was quite shocked- are people in my area having a lot of babies suddenly. Secondly I would have thought you would think about these things when the child is a bit older- but looks like the new mommies are going and booking the playschools while they are still pregnant. I feel like quite the lazy unprepared mommy now! So anyway this got me in the mad rush to shortlist and get S onto a good playschool.
I first tried the one recommended by an office colleague and where a good friend had put her son. The principal of the school refused to meet me saying admissions are full. I then had to ask my colleague to speak to her and request a time for me to meet her and then she finally agreed to meet me. Now these playschools are not open on Saturdays, so I had to take time off from office in the afternoon and go and meet this lady. I liked the playschool- is in a bungalow and there is quite a bit of open space for kids to play and this lady has been running this playschool for some 30 years now. There is strict security at the gate and the teachers were sitting together and planning some activities. I was also surpised to find a batchmate of mine (from college) working as a teacher there. Anyway the principal said there was no place currently and put me on the waitlist with instructions that I should call every week and find out if any place was available.
Then I checked out the most famous playschool in the area where all the richie rich send their kids. Again no place available and will have to be on waitlist, again filled in the form and took a contact number for me to call and follow up. I also dragged the hubby there one day to check out the facilities (after we had gone to an orientation programme for another playschool) and both of us liked the place. Only problem is that they are pretty strict about the 11/2 years cut off for playschool and batches start in June and December and S would only be 1 year 4 months in June. So she will not be eligible for playschool in June and can go to Toddlers Club instead- only problem being that mommies have to accompany which is not practical since I am working. Anyway have applied and will consider if I get a call.
Then I got a lead from the mommies in the toddlers park where I try to take S at least twice a week. All of them had enrolled their kids into this playgroup which is just starting in our locality but is quite popular/famous townside. I went to check out the place but didn’t like it as much – firstly there are only 3 rooms in which the kids are to play, not much outside space to play in, secondly they were very fussy that I should fill in the detailed admission form in the office only and despite my protests that I was working and had to get back to work I could not take the form out, then they insisted that I pay the full 6 months fees in advance (and they have been following up with me twice so far on this) – bit concerned that they are so money minded. The major pluses are that I already know the mommies of 3-4 kids who would be in the same group as S and I feel that would be an advantage. Secondly they are not fussy about her age being less than 11/2 and don’t expect me to accompany her which is good since I am working. And thirdly the timings are quite good- there are two batches from 9:15-11 am and form 11:15-1p.m. The second would be convenient since she can finish her breakfast and milk in a leisurely manner and then play (she currently sleeps at this time) and then get back in time for lunch and hopefully a long nap! I still have to decide on this place, and quickly since they are following up with me on the fees payment.
Next is a concept playschool where they teach kids Indian values and learning through playing. I had heard a lot about this place from colleagues and from a friend of my husband and we decided to check it out during the orientation they had last weekend. We reached there a bit late and the place was packed!!! S would only be eligible for mother-toddler in June since they are quite strict about the age – again a problem since I am working and would have to take time out for this. We saw a couple of people from my husband’s college and my college planning to enroll their kids which suggests that this place would have kids from our background. However on our way out we met a mom who was playing with her kid in the mother-toddler and while she was very enthusiastic about the programme we didn’t like a couple of things- firstly she was playing with her daughter in the bouncy horse outside and her daughter was not interacting with any other kids – I can play with S in our house itself- we want to send her to playschool so she can interact with other kids, not for me to play with her there!! Also the mom was sounding excited about field trips where kids go on train/bus etc- but we provide a lot of new experiences to S and are really looking to the school to provide something additional that we don’t. Lastly the playschool is part of a large school and colleges campus and there are many buildings there and no separate security for the children in playschool. The hubby also noticed ( I am very bad at noticing things!!) a pile of garbage close to the children’s play area- so not very sure about the security and hygiene at this place.
And lastly (only among the playschools I visited since there are many more in our area!) is the one which I am now more inclined to send S to. It’s the only one which has an attached crèche- I had initially gone there to check out the crèche since they take babies from 6 months plus and was quite happy with the large playarea- this is a bungalow and there is a large play area outside with slides etc. However in the daycare they did not have any babies less than 11/2 –the babies had grown up and no new entrants! So I was not comfortable leaving S in a crèche where she is the only baby less than 11/2- mainly because there would be no activities for her, she would be interacting only with much bigger children and infrastructure may not be there to support only one child less than 1/12- in the sense that the maids and teachers would be more focused on the older children. I had heard good reviews about the mother toddler and that the maids even take the children in the day care to the mother-toddler but was quite disappointed to hear that I had been discontinued due to low demand. The advantages of this place were-large place for children to play, no insistence on mother being there which means I could work and also crèche so that if S becomes comfortable there I could consider leaving her there for longer periods if the need arises. The disadvantages were that security seemed lax- no one stopped us from entering at the gate, and I was a bit concerned that mother-toddler was discontinued which suggested that the place was not so popular/ people were not happy with it. Anyway this sums up my experiences with some of the playschools. Need to decide quickly….wondering if every choice regarding S is going to be so time consuming or whether I am just being very fussy…