Monthly musings

These are some thoughts which occured to me over the last month or so which do not merit individual posts (rather I dont have enough to write on each point) so am just jotting them down here

1. Swimming : Have rediscovered the joys of swimming. Its great fun, not too tiring and a great way to tone up. Why didn't we get club membership earlier? Why didn't I quit my job earlier? That said I managed to enjoy the pool for about a month before the weather changed in Bombay and it became too cold for a morning swim. Have always enjoyed swimming -started at 2 years in Singapore where my dad used to play Po Ba with me. Then when we moved to Delhi he taught me how to swim in the Delhi Gymkhana pool. But I was not confident enough to go in the deep end and used to do breadths in the shallow end only. Then one summer my cousin and I went for swimming coaching classes at the Jayanagar pool in Bangalore. That was an Olympic size pool and the coach was relentless- he used to make us take the paddle and do lengths up and down continously. He also taught the correct way to do freestyle- breathing once in five strokes by raising your head to the side. My cousin and I used to be quite terrified of him since he used to pinch us if we slacked around in the pool, and I remember getting butterflies in my stomach on the way to the swimming classes. But they were really good and when I got back to Delhi I could confidently do lengths and even took part in the swimming gala and won a couple of medals! That year we also moved to our Senior school in Delhi which had an Olympic sized pool and weekly swimming classes for us. I was asked to come for extra coaching in the evenings, and I remember the first evening I went I was overawed by the 12-12th standard boys and girls diving from the highest diving boards. But the extra classes were very strenous, and my mom was not struct enough to make me go (partly because we were anyway moving to London at the end of the year, and partly because I was getting a cold very often because of the evening swimming, but mainly I was too lazy and got away with it. Now I really regret that and wish I had stuck it out, my freestyle could have improved significantly, and maybe I would've learnt some other styels). We kept up the swimming in London, going to the local swimming pool. I remember we had a small accident and a huge fight with the owner of another car, once when we were driving out to the pool. The car owner worked for a taxi comapny, and even though it was a small scrap he staretd yelling and abusing and we got quite scared. It was only my mom and me and nobody came to support us, and finally my brother had to come and calm him down. Then when we shifted back to delhi, we continued with the bi weekly swims to Delhi Gymkhana. After college, i completely lost touch with swimming, at mba college there was not much time for swimming and Bangalore was too cold to swim most of the year, and ever since I've started working in Bombay I've never had good access to a club with a swimming (too expensive to take membership to a club near the house, and the one which is reciprocating with the Delhi Gymkhana where I have membership takes an hour to reach from the house). But now the new club is close to the house and swimming there is great fun, as the pool is not too crowded on weekdays . Only now suddenly Bombay has become too cold to go swimming in the mornings and afternoons i still try to grab some shut eye.

2. Book lovers and sports enthusiasts : Have been wondering is it possible to be both? Or even common to be both? When i look around at most of my friends/colleagues/relatives I find either book lovers or sports enthusiasts, or neither. But rarely both. Most of my friends are book lovers and manage to fit in books into their hectic schedules of work/looking after kids/travel etc and are up to date on the latest authors/trends etc. But they are not really into sports, I don't mean that they are not fit or anything, many of them gym/workout etc, but dont play a port for fun/watch sports on TV. Even when they were young they would not take part in many sporting activities. On the other hand my family is more sports oriented. My brother played many sports when he was younger and even now plays cricket when he gets a chance. He watches most sports on TV. My parents also follow cricket, tennis keenly, but are not great book lovers. As for me, I have always been more into sports. In my London school I was part of the school netball team, and my class rounders and athletics team. When we came back to Delhi I used to represent my house in all athletic events ranging from 100 m upto 800 m, long jump, discuss etc. I even stood for sports captain, but lost to a national level athlete. I still think I would have made a better sports captain as its more about organising sports activities/training students rather than being a winner yourself.  On the other hand my reading habits are abysmal. I rarely pick up books to read, preferring to watch TV if i get some spare time. I like thrillers best, but recently have found I lack the patience to read them fully. After about halfway I skip to the end to see what happens and then resume mid way if I find it interesting or just give up and move to the next book. I think its a lack of concentration and patience to finish books. Sports are just more exciting and finish faster. I think its rare for a person to be a book lover and a sports enthusiast, but that's just what I think. What do you feel?

That's it for now. Happy new year to all. 

Ajji Maney

S loves to be with her grandparents, and Ajji Manay (Grandmother's house) is the place to be. She's extremely attached to my mom who has spent a lot of time with us since S has been born, especially for a period of nearly 9 months around the time A was born. Ajji spent most of the time with S so that I could concentrate on A and I think this helped quite a bit to reduce the normal feelings of jealousy and angst when another child arrives to share the attention.

Ajji Manay, in addition to the main attraction of Ajji and Ajja also have Bingo and Elmo, our dogs, swings in the balcony for both the kids, an ongoing supply of snacks, ice cream, a park walking distance from the house and a many varied activities throughout the day such as feeding the dogs, watching the coconut collector climb the trees and pick the coconuts, watching the gardner, kids playing downstairs etc

As I mentioned earlier S is very attached to my mom and the last time we were here she was very upset to see her with the walker. When my dad came to Bombay the first thing she asked him was whether Ajji's walker has been thrown away. And when we came back here, my dad jokingly asked whether we should get the walker back and she actually got tears in her eyes. S wakes up early in the morning and goes to my mom, has her afternoon nap with her, and goes to Ajji for all her troubles (today when she fell down from the sofa, after i cleaned her up she ran to her Ajji to be comforted)

S is very fond of Ajja also. When he came to Bombay ( he came to pick us up on the way back from Pune, yes I am still extremely pampered, wonder how I will manage with no support in Zurich) she immediately went upto him and hugged him. Then they both spent time at the dining table, with my Dad writing a letter and S doodling on a paper. Then she made him read books to her and generally hung around with him the whole evening. Even in Bangalore she loves to go with her Ajja to the exercise room and do the cross trainer/ go down to his study and examine all the articles there.

A is also thrilled to be here. She seems to be more attached to my dad and is completely taken with the dogs. Anytime we need to get her to open her mouth for her food we say Elmo Bingo and voila. My dad takes her often to see the dogs, and also generously gives her his playing cards for her to destroy.

Being with grandparents is one of the best experiences for children, and I think this will be the biggest thing we miss out on by moving out of India. Otherwise S and A would see our parents every other month- with me coming to Bangalore at least twice a year and my parents coming over at least twice a year.

A walked today

A walked today for the first time. She was standing by herself, not holding onto anything in the middle of my mom's hall and I went towards her calling her to me and she took 3-4 steps towards me. She promptly sat down after that and crawled the rest of the distance towards me.

She's been walking holding onto the furniture for some time. But she's been very comfortable crawling at full speed all around the place to give the whole walking thing a try. But over the last week she's started standing without any support for some period of time and then trying to walk. Yesterday at my aunt's place she held onto the centre table and walked round and round for some time.

And today after her first few steps, she again tried, and after a couple of steps she held onto her sister S and started walking holding onto her as a walking support!! It was so cute, it looked like A was hugging S and S was the patient elder sister.

A has now two small teeth also and is quite the glutton for snacks- she loves tiger biscuits, breadsticks, gerber snacks and even murukku!!

Anniversary woes

This year was the first time in the last 9 years that the hubby and I have not been together for our anniversary. He is travelling to Vienna for a conference, and well I am here. I was complaining about this to all and sundry who called to wish, mentioning that this should not be a sign of the times to come until a friend very wisely pointed out, how different would it have been if he was here given that we have two very young kids. And i agree. It was a working day and we cannot go out at night since there is only the one maid and it becomes difficult for her to manage both kids alone. And also to be honest, we are not really big anniversary people, we wish each other, sometimes give presents, if we have found something the other person likes, and maybe go out for dinner, if it is a weekend. But nothing else really. In fact some years back we were at a friends place for dinner on our anniversary and she turned around and asked us, isnt your anniversary sometime now and we were like, ya its today, and people were quite surprised that we were ok spending it with a group of others, but really it was not big deal .So  why the anniversary woes post you ask .Mainly I like to crib and this gives me a good opportunity to vent that the hubby is not there for the anniversary blah blah. Actually thinking about it he was out of the country for my birthday as well this year...the plot thickens. He got me nice goggles for my b'day so it couldn't be to escape giving a present, maybe he doesnt like cake? which i insist on cutting for all celebrations? Anyway this year i have treated myself to two Friends season DVDs as an anniversary present for myself and the DVD of Inception for the hubby (ok that's also for me, love the movie)

Coming back to outings without kids, yesterday I had the unique opportunity to go for an adults only party (no no nothing of that sort, this was a dinner for our office at my boss place and the invitation said spouse only since they didn't want kids interrupting the conversation) with my two kids in tow. The hubby is away and i didn't have anyone to leave the kids with. I refused the invitation, but later the boss called saying i can get the kids along.I initially planned to go only for an hour, since its only 5 mins from my place. It was quite the experience i tell you, when we reacher there, S insisted that i sit with her and A in the toy room. When i made my escape after 5 mins, she started howling so i had to go back. Then luckily, she became friendly with the maid there and my boss younger son (same age) and more importantly with his toys so she allowed me to escape to the adult group for about 20 mins. A was better, if i left without her seeing me she continued to play. But if she saw S crying, then she also started crying. After about 20 mins, A started howling (she was hungry) so i had to leave  my chatter (and my wine) and go and feed her. I had cheated and got some cheese which she likes, instead of the elaborate cereal and apple dinner feed which i need help to give. While i was feeding a couple of my collagues wives came and saw the drama, and I am sure they made up their minds to delay having kids for a couple more years at least!!! One of them has a 2 year old daughter and boy was she bindaas. She happily left her mom and dad and played in the toy room, let anyone carry her (if any of my colleagues came near my girls they would both start howling!) and was quite peaceful throughout. After A's dinner i managed to get back to the chatter and the wine for another 15 mins, till this time S started howling. I think she was bored and sleepy (the boss kids had gone to sleep). A also started howling then and both of them refused to go to anyone. So there i was, sitting in the living room, with both kids of my lap. The boss wife mentioned that this reminded her of herself- she also has two young kids, who are 3 and 41/2 and it seems before sleeping/after waking up/after school they both sit on her lap. I was aghast to hear this, i thought things would improve when the girls are older!! Then of course a colleague who has daughters who are much older informed me, that this is the best time and i should wait till the girls become teenagers to see what tough times really look like. Wow!!

The kids kept crying, and A chewed up a paper puppet of the boss son. I really felt bad about this, because i really feel you should respect other people's property and not use your kids behaviour as an excuse to spoil other people's toys, but somehow with  both kids crying i could not force A to stop eating that! I managed to pacify them with some cheerios, have A her milk and when they had calmed down, left them with the boss maid for 10 mins while i quickly grabbed some dinner. Then we sat for about 10 mins in the hall, where S was climbing over all the sofas and A was trying to push the chairs, and I decided i better make my retreat before the kids do some irreperable damage. What an experience!! Thank goodness, i've already quit, otherwise i can see my performance rating dropping a couple of notches after this!

S and A Tales

A has become a big girl. And so says S. In a conversation i overhead yesterday, she was telling A, you've become a big girl now, dont throw the toys on the floor, i wont pick them up for you, what's the point of throwing them on the floor.  All in Hindi. I found it hilarious, but I guess she's learnt it from me since i keep telling S that she's a big girl and not supposed to do x, y, z things. 

So A is now 91/2 months. She is quite the

- Suspicious girl. Suspicious that the food we are eating is far tastier than what we are giving her, which is usually the case. So she is willing to open her mouth whenever we offer her anything we are eating. So she's already had cheese (her favourite), grapes, strawberries, biscuits, egg, a cockroach (she picked it up and put it in her mouth!) as well as clay/cotton/thermocol which is had on a daily basis. In the park, after she's crawled after the ball for some time, or walked around (with our help) trying to kick it her next favourite thing is to pluck all the grass and mud and put it in her mouth. Of course any snacks offered to S has to be shared with A also, and her favourite playtime is to pull the bottle from S mouth. She's absolutely fascinated with S bottle and the other day i walked into the toy room and A has her back to me, and when i called her name she looked around guiltily (i am kidding you not!) with S bottle in her mouth... (yes S still has milk from a bottle, she resisted too much to the change and i was not prepared for the long tantrums, maybe will wean her off the bottle when i stop working) A is also very suspicious that S is playing with all the good toys and reading all the interesting books, while we are trying to palm her off with the boring ones. So much so, that even if i give A the much more colourful book, she'll come over to where S and i are sitting and sit on top of the book I'm reading to S. Similarly with toys, playing with clay/lego/blocks/jigsaw puzzles is impossible with A around, so now we have started putting her on top of S cycle to keep her busy and keep the toys out of her reach

Introspective girl - she sometime has this long thinking look on her face (the hubby gets it often, and while i realised that he's really not thinking about much, am puzzled what A is thinking). She can be pretty quiet and play with her toys by herself for some time and if we get any guests/or are at anybody's house during these introspective times, they are convinced that she's quite the shaant kid 

Aggressive girl - she knows what she wants and knows how to get it. She has the loudest wail I've ever heard and is capable of deploying it continuously. She hates being changed (why?), being rocked to sleep when she's not sleepy, when something is taken out of her mouth and generally if i am carrying S and not carrying her. 

Mummy's girl - S was quite the daddy's girl when she was young, maybe because the hubby also used to get more time with her, and now she does not clearly have any preferences between the two of us, but A is clearly mummy's girl. When i get back home from office, she'll come crawling to me and pull at my kameez to pick her up. She'll wail if i go to S first or if i go to the other room maybe to get a glass of water without taking her along with me. She also says "amma" but that's a mixture of mamma and a generic term when she wants something/wants to be carried. 

Troublesome kid at night - she is very difficult in the night and doesnt sleep for more than a couple of hours at a stretch. The typical night consists of her sleeping at 11, getting up at 1:30, sleeping again immediately, getting up at 3:30-4, then refusing to sleep for an hour/half hour, then again getting up at six, her milk then, again sleeping and getting up at 7:30. I cant take it beyond six and i wake up the maid then. But its been ages since i even got 4 hours of sleep at a stretch and  wonder when A is going to sleep through the night. I clearly remember S was not difficult at all, we had attended my sis in law's wedding when she was 10 and 1/2 months and she slept through each night properly.

 Solids girl - she hated her milk and gave me many sleepless nights and ulcers with her refusal to drink milk. But, (thank God and touch wood) she's much better with her solids and we dont need to spend too much effort and time trying to convince her to eat what is offered. S always hated solids, and still likes her milk- many times she actually comes and asks for milk again even if she's just had it.

Naughty girl - some friends who've seen her have said she's very calm, and while that is true in patches she is also pretty naughty. She loves to pull the DVDs off the shelves, she climbs on top of the bouncer to reach the higher shelves and pull out the DVDs from there. She loves to pull the books from the bookshelf (now we've emptied the last shelf and only kept magazines there so she doesn't hurt itself. She also loves to throw things behind the bed - she'll crawl over to the headstand and pull herself up and throw whatever she has in her hands over the bed. And she gives me a guilty look after that!!

A's now got two small teeth at the bottom and she crawls all over the place, and walks holding furniture. She's pretty good at climbing and sometimes I'll look up from my latop and find her on top of the sofa next to me.

S is growing up so fast. In my mind she's already a big kid, compared to A and sometime i forget that she's still a baby herself. But she has become so much bigger suddenly. She loves her school and tells me what she did each day, who her friends are, what she wants to take to school for her tiffin. After school she'll open her tiffin box and show me that its empty with a big smile on her face. I have been quite awful with her tiffin, earlier she never used to try much stuff and i also didnt have the imagination or the enthu to give her different stuff, so it was more or less cheeselings and bourbon biscuits everyday. But now she asks for grapes/corn/chappati/toasted cheese bread and I'm thrilled. This week I managed to give her different tiffin for everyday of the week and none of that involved snacks! Also helps that my work hours start only after dropping her at school so i am able to spend some 5-10 mins on preparing her tiffin. She plays a lot more in the park now- she can swing by herself, goes on the big slides, plays with the sand toys and tells what she wants to do. She surprises me sometimes by how observant she is- if we are reading a book and i read something in a different way she will ask why. The other day we had gone to the club and she pointed at some cupboards in a room and asked why they didnt have handles (!). Something i wouldnt even notice. She is also listening to whatever we say, sometimes the hubby and I would be having a conversation and she would pipe her with her take on something and we would suddenly realise that she's been following the entire conversation. 

She loves me to read books to her and choses what book she wants me to read. She likes to do jigsaw puzzles (the 4,5,6 pieces one she does herself) and the bigger ones she does with me. She loves her lego and her clay also and going around on her cycle. I don't get enough time to do all the activities with her everyday, but i do try to take her to the park on all weekdays. She does craft with her hubby in the weekends (thank goodness i am pretty terrible at anything to do with craft/drawing/anything creative) and now that we have membership of the nearby club i try to take her swimming twice a week. We just signed up for the musical bonding today,  hope she enjoys that! 

S and A get along pretty ok as well when A is not trying to pull S hair, poke her eyes or generally whack her. S is pretty gentle with her and complains to us if A is hitting her (and knows not to hit her back). She lectures her quite a bit!!! And she also tries to play with her- if A is bouncing in the crib, S will get in and bounce with her, if A is crawling in the living room, S will also go crawling with her. She likes to feed her snacks as well (though i caught her trying to feed her grass in the park the other day) and shares her toys with her without a grumble. Love you dolls, hope you remain the best of friends forever. 

Summer holiday : A belated post : Part 1

In June this year we took a vacation (not really with 2 young kids) rather trip to the US. It was mainly to attend my 2 nephews thread ceremonies in Minneapolis, but we also decided to visit the rest of the immediate family there.

The flight journeys were bad. The flights itself were ok, S was a real sweetheart and slept by herself, ate pretty much what we gave her and didn't require too much entertainment. A was difficult only in the feeding (her milk problem was very much in full force at that time) but was fine otherwise and didnt cry too much, slept in the bassinet and was fine during take off and landing. Only, the journeys were too long. The first leg from Mumbai to Amsterdam was ok, both kids slept through about half of it. The flight was delayed by 3 hours -was supposed to take off at 2 am and took off only at 5 am so it was a pretty bad night for us at the airport. So the kids ended up with half their night nap in the airport and half in the flight, so they were awake for longer than we had initially planned.  Because of the delay in starting, the connection at Amsterdam was very short and we barely had time to rush from our gate to the gate for boarding. Had ideally wanted to walk around a bit, get some coffee and try to recharge ourselves but none of that. The next leg was bad since it was very long -all the way to San Francisco and all of us were exhausted by the time we reached there. To top it all the luggage did not make the connection at Amsterdam so we had to survive with the hand luggage till the next evening. Cautious me  had packed three sets each for the kids and two for us, so we managed, after multiple trips to the laundry downstairs.

San Francisco : S enjoyed herself, but A and I were stuck inside most of the time (since she was refusing to drink milk, and i would keep trying every half hour and finally have to give by palladu, which become difficult outside). The day after we reached, the hubby and his sister took S to the SF zoo. The pictures are amazing and she saw a lot of animals that she had only read about/seen on TV till then. She got a plastic frog whose eyes pop out if you squeeze it hard and that was her companion for most of the trip. The next day all of us went to Santa Clara beach. Its a 2 hour drive from Palo Alto where the sis in law stays and its a really beautiful drive through sea on one side and mountains on the other. We had a nice lunch at a restaurant by the beach, and then the hubby and S  played in the water and build sandcastles while A, my sis in law and I hung around in the sand. 

The next day we did some shopping in the morning, I got a Stanford shirt for A (yeah i know!!, but S has one and its so cute), then got hit by some bad jet lag in the afternoon so our plans to go into SF during the day were shelved and we just crashed at home. I took S and A to the fountain at Stanford and then to the neighbourhood park, and while A found it a bit cold, S really enjoyed herself and refused to come home. 

The next day we left for Minneapolis in the afternoon and because of the time difference, and again delay in the flight (Delta sucks! all our flights were delayed at least an hour) we reached only at 9:30 p.m. 

The first day at Minneaopolis, I left A at home with my mom (so happy to see my mom there after the difficult days at SF) and we went to Mall of America with S. Its the largest mall in America, and right in the middle of it there's a big amusement park. S loved it as it is a Nickelodeon theme park and the kiddie rides are all based on Dora characters- there was the Dora ferris wheel, the swiper the fox car ride, Azul the train and so on. She enjoyed the carousel the most and went twice on it. The hubby is not much of an amusement park guy and kept himself amused by buying the Ipad. He was looking for it in SF but the shops were out so was delighted to find it in the mall. I packed off S with the hubby after lunch and enjoyed the scary rollercoasters with my nephews. Wow they are quite brave, dont think i was so brave at their age. 

The next day again my poor mom was again made in charge of A while we set off for Lake Como. We first went paddleboating on the lake, its really beautiful, the weather was cold enough not to feel the effort of the paddling and the scenery around the lake was just beautiful. It was S's first time on a boat and she was quite excited. My brothers and their sons kept playing the fool and switching from the back to the front and the lifeguards were getting all stressed since that wasnt allowed in the middle of the lake!! After that we went to the amusement park at Lake Como. Again S loved the carousel, but this was a much bigger one- actually it was a historical piece dating back to the early 1900's and it had beautiful big horses. The amusement park was not very big- some small train rides for S and a couple of scary rides for the boys. We then had a Huge lunch at an Italian place on the way back to my brother place, the waitress managed to pour beer on my brother so the starters were free! The portions were quite huge (isnt everything?) but we were quite hungry and stuffed ourselves. In the night there was a small Puja at my brothers place to inaugarate the first of the Upanaynas. There was a nice dinner after that- for all the relatives and friends who had come down for the same. My brother has a lovely porch and back garden and the weather was just right for the adults to sit on the porch and have their drinks/snacks/gossip while the kids played in the grass. There were some vigorous football games going on and S fell down a couple of times, but all part and parcel I guess. My mom's siblings met again for the first time in many years and I met some cousins whom i had not met for ages so there were many Kodak moments and general chit chat. I felt really glad that we had made the effort to come for the upanaynas as it was a big deal for my brother. 

Next morning it was an early start to the Hindu temple for my elder nephew's upanayna. Somehow managed to get both kids dressed and out by 7:30 (our family has all late starters). The ceremony itself was not long and the priest kept explaining the significance of the ceremonies. My nephew looked a bit apprehensive in the beginning but settled down shortly. Being a Monday there were only the close relatives and friends for the function so it was not intimidating. My brother and sis in law looked considerably relieved by the end of the day- i guess its really tough to organise such functions in the States since you have to do everything yourself. Even the party the previous night, there were not enough people to have a caterer, so all the dishes need to be cleaned up, house needs to be cleaned before everyone comes etc. Even the items required for the function, change of clothes for the children/parents etc, the saris/kurtas etc for the guests, I realised how much effort my parents also must have put in for our weddings. 

The next day my hubby set off with S to the Grand Canyon. My parents, first brother and his family (not the brother whose children were having the thread ceremony) were going for 4 days and we thought it would be nice for S and the hubby to also go along. I decided to stay back with A because we were anyway doing a lot of travelling on the trip and she needed to get used to one place for some time and secondly she was still being very fussy with her milk so would have been difficult to do a lot of travelling which was required for the trip to GC. The flight itself was 3 hours, then 4 hours drive, then stay about 1 hour away, drive to different places everyday. S had a great time, GC was beautiful, she went on her first helicopter ride (we had initially planned for her not to go, but the hubby decided to take her along at the last minute), she was pampered by my mom and sister in law and freaked out with her cousins- my sis in law has a video of her jumping on and beating up her elder cousins who quietly took it all (since they were after all the elder brothers!). I managed to get some relaxation with A whose feeding improved suddenly (thank God) and managed to spend some time with my cousin who had some down from Michigan for the week to attend both the ceremonies. We were very close as kids and ever since she's moved to the States I've not been able to spend much time with her. So this was some good time together - we didn't get to do any partying (didn't want to leave A with my sis in law since she was anyway very busy with guests and was a new face for A) but we did go to many nice places and spent time catching up on gossip/old times. I really wish my kids had cousins who stayed in the same country so that they could meet often and develop this kind of closeness. My nephews are all in the States and though we end up meeting once in 2 years/ sometimes once a year its only for 3-4 days, and not weeks at a stretch like we used to have. Weeks of summer holidays with nothing to do but climb trees, make up secret gangs with neighbours, play on the beach/the terrace etc. Anyway i am digressing and coming back to the Minneapolis stay, the four days that S was in GC went by in a flash, and I missed the brat but was also glad that she was having fun and not missing out on anything because I was being fussy about A.

More in the next post. 

Weekly snippets

1. Ever since i started working part time from home I try to take the kids to the park everyday. We usually go around 5:15 and return by 6:15 as it becomes dark and mosquitoes start biting. I try for Joggers park since there is a nice garden there where A can crawl around while S plays in the sandpit. Only problem is it takes about 10 mins by car to get there and i find it difficult to drive on a steep uphill road, which is the only congestion free route to the park. Also there are only 2 swings there and about 200 kids so S never gets to go on the swing. Just play in the sand, see the ducks/geese/rabbit/parrots and we are back. So we usually go there about 2-3 times a week and other times i take only S to the nearby park, which used to be much less crowded. It has 6 swings, and many slides and S can usually get a swing for about 10 mins. But lately this park has also started getting very crowded, and one day when we went there on a holiday, which was also a festival, there were tons of older kids there. I had to literally fight with them to give S a turn- the swings are meant for kids under 8 and there were much older kids playing on them. I finally told them that they are not meant to use these swings and that they would get spoilt if older and heavier kids sat on it (felt like a meanie after that!).  The slides were worse, the older kids were pushing and shoving each other and S also got a couple of pushes and shoves and had to struggle to climb up and use the slides. I lost my cool a couple of times and fired the children (why were there mothers not saying anything to them? too busy chatting with each other i guess) and later felt bad as i was quite harsh. I thought at that time, am so happy we are moving to Zurich where my kids will not have to fight with other kids to get access to normal things like swings/slides etc and will not be pushed around and have to wait to use these facilities. There's a problem of  plenty in Zurich and very few people to use the facilities (someone told me they usually walk about 10 mins to reach the station and on most days dont see a single other person! can you imagine this in Bombay, not even at 2 am in the night!). But then i was not so sure. I dont want the kids to grow up in an environment where they are not used to any ambiguity, no waiting, or sharing/fighting with other kids. Then later, when they go to any other place where there are many people, they will find it very difficult to adjust. They would probably refuse to play in the parks in Bangalore (at my moms place) or Bombay as they would be scared of the crowds! And what is life without a bit of adjusting, i say? As they say, solpa adjust madi!

2. Gym is not going so well. I ran for 6 mins today (up from 4 yippee!) then felt really sick afterwards. collapsed into the auto, just about made it home and collapsed on the bed. Its not like i am overdoing it (6 mins running, 10 mins walking and 5 mins cycle is hardly overexerting!), but i guess its the lack of sleep in the night which is making it so difficult. A has started getting up every 2 hours and doesnt go back to sleep easily. She doesnt seem to be hungry, just restless. So my schedule is, sleep around 12 (she sleeps at 11 and i usually surf the net/ watch TV for a bit after), wake up at 2:30, try to make her sleep till 3:15, wake up at 4:45, give her milk and make her sleep again, then up again around 6-615, after that the maid takes over and I sleep till 8:45. Hurrah for the maid, dont know what i would do without her. But the point is, A is not 9 months and 10 days old and she's still not sleeping properly in the night. Its been more than a year that I've slept properly (last 3 months of pregnancy i didnt get much sleep either) and now i'm really feeling exhausted! Most of the days i get some sleep in the afternoon, but the days i dont it becomes really awful by evening. Hope A gets into a proper night routine soon!

3. I posted earlier about resigning. No further updates, looks like i;ll have to work till the 15th of February. My boss is showing his true colours now i guess- till now he was ok with my work from home, the other day when he called me for a conference call and couldnt get through my phone it seems he told my colleagues that i was chilling out/on vacation or some rubbish like that. I luckily called at that very point of time and joined the conference, but i really don't like this sort of talk. if you agreed for the work from home and docked my pay as well then at least respect it in front of other colleagues. And its not like people in office are working all the time right? Half the time they are discussing the stock market/cricket match/movies or are in the canteen. Anyway, all the better for me, since i plan to chill now and not take any stress about work.

Off to see the latest Harry potter today. Hubby is babysitting (now that mom is in Bangalore we cant go out for a movie together) 

Resigned to my fate!

I resigned from work today. Was so much easier than I thought it would be. When I told the hubby about it he asked me how i felt. Probably thought i was feeling upset about leaving my job and disrupting a career i had built with a lot of effort and hard work. But not really. I feel very relieved and free. It has been a struggle ever since S was born, and if you see my earlier post about whether to work or not, a large part of the decision to continue was because there was an option to continue, with maids/help from mom etc . I felt the pressure of having studied hard, having worked hard and the knowledge that maybe 5 years down the line when the kids are in school I may be too long out of the workforce to get back to the level/momentum i left off. 

But now the decision is out of my hands and i am glad. I plan to focus on spending more time with the kids (this part time work from home is ok to a large extent but due to connectivity problems and the pressure of the job, and unpredictably of young children it becomes quite stressful and you end up spending less time with children that you had expected and being more stressed than you had expected), more time cultivating my hobbies- i just dont have any hobbies be it reading/playing an instrument/some sport etc /or even updating the blog and so far i was like ok i hardly get any time between the 2 kids and the job, but Zurich will be an excellent place to start cultivating some hobbies. Will be tough with 2 kids around, but maybe the hobby will just be to go to museums/art galleries, and go travelling in the weekends. 

What has probably made the decision to leave work easier is that i was in the end getting bored of the job. Some of the deals were very challenging, the money was good, and my colleagues were nice, but not being a part of the front end means that you cannot dictate the kind of work you end up doing, and you are often asked to do something in the last minute, with minimal information. I should have addressed these points and asked for a more challenging role in the last 1-2 years but i also took it as an opportunity to continue in a role where i am familiar with what needs to be done so that  I can focus on the kids. I might even decide to change fields in Zurich (of course not getting a spouse work permit might make it even easier to take the decision to study something else and take that up)

Anyways, the deed is done, i am officially without a job, and off the workforce (ok i need to serve out my notice period) . 

Following a new regime

I have to achieve three important things before we leave for Zurich and that is

1. Lose weight

2. Learn cooking

3. Learn German

The first, you may say is not imperative, but i have really put on a lot of weight after A's birth and have a big tummy, and if i don't make the effort now to get back in shape, i might not get the time in Zurich. So today i hit the gym after 3 and 1/2 years. And was it tiring!!! Before i had S i could run for half an hour and do all the weight machines (though at low levels) pretty easily. Today i ran for 4 mins!!! and then took 5 mins to recover. After 6 mins of cycling and some few stomach crunches i was ready to retire for the day

The second initiative went no better. My cook does not come on Sundays and i thought i will take the opportunity to cook . I started with the easiest Bibibelebath. I have the powder from my mom's place and all you really need to do is boil vegetables, dal and rice and then add the powder and imli and salt and you are done. This took me 1 hour and 15 mins and i forgot to add half the vegetables and managed to fill the entire sink with dirty dishes. Am feeling very worried suddenly!!!

The hubby  manages to cook easily, he made noodles and a schezwan dish in half the time in the evening. Does anyone know any good Indian dabbawallas in Zurich? Help...

On the third point, a colleague's wife who is also moving to Zurich has passed on the lead of a German teacher in my locality. Hopefully will pick up the essentials before April.

Well, Auf Widersehn then!!

Happy Diwali

Back after a long break, seems like the only time i get to post is when i am in Bangalore. Must be something to do with having a computer with internet on all the time, and people to keep the kids busy!

A quick update

1. Back to work after 6 months maternity break from July 15th. Very hectic, got involved in 3 large deals as soon as i joined back, late night, conference calls at home after that, early morning calls, then our audit started as soon as the deal pressure eased, finally work hours became reasonable from September. On the negative sise, my mom was heavily burdened looking after both the kids for long periods without a break. A was specially troublesome, refusing to drink milk many times, and fussing for food. S was a doll, and totally adores my mom, so at least no problems on that front. On the positive side, since i put in the long hours for 21/2 months have been able to negotiate a 6 months part time work from home option from office, which means i need to work only from 11 am to 4 pm, that too from home, and go to office once in two weeks. Of course the 11-4 pm does not always work, and the biggest difficulty is having continuos connection so sometimes i am accessing and replying mails at 11:30 in the night. But overall colleagues have been extremely considerate and not troubled me too much outside my work hours.

2. S has started school and is happy!!! (Thank God). I was very apprehensive after her summer camp fiasco (where she vomited everyday at school and was very unhappy at the thought of school). Yes there was the initial crying and vomiting (once!) but within a week she was settled and now talks about her friends in school! She seems to be learning a lot at school and already recognises all the alphabets, talks fluently in English and Hindi, and knows her numbers as well. She is still shy in interactions with other children, but a couple of times when i have picked her up from school and she has not seen me at the door, I have seen her interact well with other kids.

3. A is now 9 months old. She crawls all over the house, stands up holding the furniture and even walks holding the furniture. She says mamma (mostly when she's upset because we've taken away something she's been stuffing into her mouth, or if she suddenly sees me but I'm busy working and cant carry her) and dadda also. She follows her sister wherever she goes, and insists only on playing with the toys/puzzles/books S is playing with. S is very patient with her and I am amazed at her patience. A has the shrillest cries i have heard and she still gets up in the night and either wants to play/cry. Cant remember S being as difficult in the nights, but i guess you tend to forget the difficult parts and only focus on the good parts. 

Both kids play together to some extent now, mostly in the evenings they are either bouncing on A's bed, or crawling all over the house (S has made a game of crawling in front of A and trying to make her follow her). 

4. Hubby has got a foreign posting and is delighted. Its a great job title /role for happy and I have always wanted to have an international posting as I think it would be wonderful for the kids. Am a bit apprehensive about the place as there's a language issue and its very cold for large parts of the year. Help is not easily available and with 2 young ones is going to be a challenge. The hubby has also warned that he would be travelling for 2 weeks every month since his is a global role. Am quite a scaredy cat in addition to being inexperience in cooking/keeping house etc etc and i asked my sis in law, how did she manage with her two little boys, and she said you do what you have to do. And thats it I guess, I'll do what i have to and see how things come along.

We had a great Diwali in Bangalore. S was a bit upset as first since my mom had knee replacements just before we went there (my brothers and I took turns to be with my mom - with one brother for each operation, and me after mom gets back home) and she was struggling to get up and was using the walker and was lying all the time. Very different from the ajji she was used to. But she got used to it, and used to hand my mom her walker when she tried to get up, go lie down with her, and take a lot of care when she was around her. My mom's legs are much better now, but i plan to go to Bangalore again for 2 weeks in December and spend more time with my mom. We had a nice Diwali party at home. My cousins cam over and they have kids S and A's age and S and the older ones had fun with sparklers and fountains downstairs, and later all the kids playing upstairs. We had the oil bath and pooja function in the morning though we could not burst the traditional crackers in the morning, since i was unable to buy them the previous day. But we more than made up for it, over the next few days. 

Happy Diwali again!!

A turned today

I left A alone on the bed for 2 mins this morning and she turned!!! Spent the rest of the day waiting for her to repeat it but she did not oblige. She's been desperately trying for the last 2 weeks and possibly after she turned today, realised its no great shakes!!!

A's nearly turning!

A has been trying to turn for the last few days and today she was nearly there. She lies on her side and her head is fully turned. Her body is also nearly turned over, its just that little tip over-and that's irritating her! She tries to turn for about 5 mins, then gets irritated and starts crying. Then we have to pick her up, and when we put her down again she turns to her side and starts trying to turn over. Quite entertaining!
She has started also putting things into her mouth now. Her hands, the cloth she is lying on, and the cloth covering her, anything she can get her hands on. She has started speaking also quite a bit now..gah, uhmm..and she responds to people talking to her, my dad especially. He will say "Negadddu" which means laugh in Kannada and she will respond with a big smile, and if he keeps saying it she will gurgle with laughter, my little cutie. She also loves bright or patterned clothes, and if we are wearing anything red, or with an interesting design, just staring at it would keep her occupied for quite some time. She has her own toys now- yes S finally allowed A to play with some toys and her favourite is the noisy snail- it makes a noise if you touch it, and also has a mirror which fascinates her; and also the punchable tiger- its one of those airfilled things which you punch and they bounce back at you. Its really for S, but if we keep it at A's feet she loves to kick it as it is quite soft .
Her feeding is still a problem. For the last month she has been crying everytime we put the bottle to her mouth. Then the last week, the problem got worse with her refusing to feed for hours on end, that too after a 7-8 hour break at night. After 3 days of this behaviour I got psyched and took her to another paediatrician here who said she may be having Acid problem and has prescribed an antacid. She seems better after taking it (Thank God) but not fully ok yet- still have to resort to feeding her with a Palladu about once a day when she refuses a feed consistently.
She is growing up so fast, the days are so busy that you dont realise it, and suddenly you see A and think, how much she has grown in all aspects and before you realise it she will be walking and talking and going to school!

Summer time outings and friends

S has made a 'summer friend ' N (my cousin's son who is a year and a half older to S) and she's really enjoyed the summer holidays (rather my maternity leave) here in Bangalore since we've managed to go on many outings together.
The first outing was to National Gallery of Modern Art. Yes, sounds funny to take 2 and 4 year old kids to a Gallery right, but they had fun. Firstly the NGMA in Bangalore is a huge sprawling place with a large garden, waterfall, beautiful trees and lots of space for kids to run around in. The actual looking at the pictures did not last more than half an hour (we were lucky to get that much time from the kids) before they asked to be let loose outside. S kept calling it office, since she's never been to a museum before, and refused to look at any of the paintings. N was slightly better and his mom could get him slightly interested in the pictures of animals. The gallery had a showing from the Victoria and Albert, London and there was a whole section devoted to English artists rendering of India in the 1700-1900s. Beautiful. Can't imagine how some of the places used to look earlier-Breach Candy seems to be an isolated fishing village. And the mood of the times also has been captured in the paintings, many of which show people going about their daily work. It covers most parts of India as well, from Kashmir to the South. I wonder whether any museum in India has such a vast collection of paintings of this period. Have not been to the NGMA in Mumbai, but will definetly give it a look now. We wanted to try out the cafe, but it had only snacks so went to Opus, a nearby restaurant for lunch. Its more of a lounge bar than a restaurant and was empty except for us in the afternoon (we checked it on a Saturday night a week later and it was packed with a cover charge of Rs 500/ per person!). Anyway we were happy to have the place to ourselves, and after S and N gorged themselves on french fries (managed to get S to eat some dal rice i was carrying as well) they started running around the place and jumping on the bean bags sprawled there. We could manage a leisurely lunch with them occupied for a change!

The next was to Bannerghatta National Park. Its about an hours drive from my place ; my cousin stays close by, and her cousin with two kids also came along so there were four elder kids and one infant (my cousin's second son who is 10 months). We started with the jungle safari where you sit in a bus and they take you into the animal enclosures where the animals are free. I was a bit apprehensive as there had been an incident some years back when a tiger had attacked the bus and killed a child. But before coming to the park i read many of the user reviews and they said that the park had taken many precautions after the incident and it was pretty safe. There was a grill around the bus, and morning time was after the feeding of the animals, so decided to go with S and the other. It was good fun- the whole trip was about 45 mins, and the bus ride was bumpy and a new experience for S. We saw some deer, samba, some bears on the road, a couple of lions and some white and yellow tigers. The tigers were inside fences so they could not come near the bus (probably a safety precaution)- think they are probably more ferocious than lions. In all we did not manage to see many animals, but each one that we saw, had the whle bus full of people standing up and shouting so overall the excitement level for the kids was quite high. The only one who was not so excited was the 10 month old who happily sat in his mom's lap chomping on a banana. The bus was not an AC bus and it was quite dusty so we were quite tired by the time the ride finished. The next stop was to the zoo. We first saw a white peacock, it had spread its tail and looked really pretty. Then onto the parrots and birds. We tried to spot the cobra in the enclosure but could not find it. The aquarium was below expectations, they had quite a few fish, but the whole area was badly lit and not well kept. Some of the tanks were empty also which made it look like a half hearted attempt. We then managed to see a leapord sleeping on a rock, and then the highlight of the trip a zebra. The zebra was in huge field with a fence- it came running towards us and butted its head on the fence and neighed loudly. The kids found it totally exciting and S still talks about it! We also saw a family of elephants. We were too tired by then to proceed onto the rhino enclosure - S insisted on being carried and threw a crying fit when i refused. I then had to carry her all the way back to the entrance in the sweltering heat so was exhausted by the time we got to our lunch place. The other kids were older and did not fuss as much. Think we need to take a stroller with us for S for the US trip. Or maybe she can use A's stroller and we can carry A. Lunch was at a place called Jungle Lodge which is within the Bannerghatta National Park. Its a boarding lodge which organises day/two day trips into the park, and also doubles up as a restaurant for people visiting the park. We had the buffet which while not anything great, sufficed as we were ravneous after the long walk through the zoo. I desperately wanted Thums Up with my lunch- can understand how these drinks sell well in the hot weather but they had only Coke, surpising since Thums Up is now the main brand for the group in India. Nothing like a cold Thums Up on a hot day, especially with spicy Indian food! I was quite impressed with my cousin's cousin's daughter who went to the buffet table by herself and chose rasam rice and lots of fruits and ate it by herself with no coercion from her mother. She's 8, but i don;t think at that age I would have chosen such a healthy combination. S and N were refreshed after the lunch and spent ten minutes running all around the place, quite forgetting that they had been cranky and sleepy some time back.

The next outing was to Lalbagh. My cousin got both her kids- N and her younger one who is 10 months along, and I took S. We selected a beautiful big tree under which we spread the chattai for our picnic. N and S stuffed themselves with cupcakes- actually S has never eaten a cupcake by herself before but after seeing N enjoying it she asked for it and ate it with relish! Then we tried to get them both to play football but N refused to kick the ball to S so they played football with their individual balls. Then S was interested in generally running around the place and looking at the butterflies- there were hundreds of butterflies in the nearby tree (unbelievable!), while N wanted to climb trees. Then we had to feed the brats their lunch- i have started carrying S rasam rice for all lunch outings as she doesn't eat much else, and then we gorged on our lunch- a lovely picnic lunch of poori bhaji and curd rice - its really been ages since i went on a picnic, and S also enjoyed it. The trees in Lalbagh are amazing- they are huge giving a lot of shade and oppportunities for many picnic spots. We didn't get to go around Lalbagh (which is very big), will explore during the next picnic opportunity.

Then we had our outing to Cubbon Park. We wanted to take the kids on the toy train, but when we reached there we were told that the train was under repair. Since the whole gang had set out on such a long journey we decided to hang around the park for some time before heading back. The kids played in the park for some time, but it was very hot (we reached only around 1:30 since the toy train timings are in the afternoon) so we soon retreated to the canteen where I fed S her lunch, and then N and S ate ice creams (first time S is eating from a cone, she saw N eating it and decided it was too tempting) and when we returned to the park entrance we found that the toy train was operational. The queue was long, but the kids had fun on the train. S now everyday mentions that she went on 'Azul' the train ('Azul the train is actually from Dora but S relates well to that), and the other day when we met N again, he was also talking about the train. The kids got balloons for their good behavious- i didn't realise that it was a helium balloon when i handed it over to S, she promptly let it go and it flew away! S slept soundly in the car on the way back- she was quite tired after the running around in the heat, and she's used to her afternoon nap.
This being the last week, we went over to N's place for a farewell lunch- they have a lovely garden where the kids kept generally running around, cycling, playing with twigs, climbing trees (S refused to though!) eating banana chips from the table, drinking mango juice and generally having a ball.
S had a great time here...now back to Bombay where its back to school and cramped appartments for her, and back to office for me. But we still have the US Holiday where S will get to meet her cousins and aunts and uncles.

A's Namakarna

We had A's namakarna on the 8th of May. She is now Venkatesh Kamala Bhavani A Rao. The ceremony started at 10:30 in the morning so it was a pretty early start for us (just realised it takes ages to get two kids bathed, dressed and fed !) . Luckily we had the ceremony at home - we called the priest home, and we had the ceremony downstairs in the hall, and the lunch catering outside in the garden. Home makes is so much more convenient.
The ceremony was about 1 hour 15 mins. We didn't have a homa (fire) since A is so young and didn't want her to get exposed to smoke. It started with a small puja to our God at home (upstairs) and then we went down. The main parts of the ceremony is the writing of the child's name in rice, the whispering of the child's name in her ear- the first one to tell A's name into her ear was my mom-in-law and then me and the hubby. The grandmother only says A's main name, me and the hubby have to tell her all five of her names. The Nakshatra syllable was "Bha" so we kept Bhavani. Venkatesh and Kamala were kept by the priest. And A is of course her main name (and the only one on the passport!). Then we have the tying of the black thread by the father around the baby's waist and finally the mixing of butter and honey and feeding to the baby- i really freaked out on this at S's Namakarna also and here also i didn't allow too many of the people to feed her the honey-butter mixture, and we also just dabbed it on her lips. Its supposed to be auspicious which is why were ok with it being dabbed on her mouth, but too much butter/honey at this age can be bad for her.
Lunch was quite an elaborate affair- we had the full traditional banana leaf lunch, eight sweets (i still feel full) and lots of rice, sambhar, menskai (sweet and sour mango), rasam and so on. We have to give dakshina to all the people who come, and last time the hubby felt quite embarresed giving that, so this time we got S to give it to people. And if they refused, or passed some funny comment, she would just throw it at them, so they could not refuse!!!
I realised how awful i look in a sari after putting on so much wieght- agree i never looked very good in a sari because of my height, but the big tummy has just made it worse. Am in two minds whether to wear a sari for the nephew's upanayanas..
In the evening we had a small party to celebrate A's birth and naming ceremony. My dad had organised chairs and tables in the garden, and with the lighting it looked really pretty. Some of my cousins kids had come and S and they and S freaked out on the snacks, ice cream and sweets, - am going to rename S as Miss Gold Coin considering the amount of that snack she managed to polish off. S was quite off mood in the morning since she had to be inside for the function, but in the evening she had a ball - she was running inside the house and playing with the kids, and running outside and sitting on her daddy/ajji's lap. I was also pretty relaxed and managed to chat with most of the relatives and family friends who had come (unlike the last time when i was mostly inside the house). A slept on and off and was pretty cheerful throughout. All in all a tiring but enjoyable day.

Of wildlife and other delights

Our stay in Bangalore has been a continous exposure to all types of wildlife (ok not really wildlife but animal life!) for S. Starting with lizards, we have a lot of paintings hung up all over the place and every evening a lizard or two will emerge from behing the paintings. At first S used to be quite terrified of them, insisting on being carried whenever she saw one. She even started recognising the sounds which lizards made. Over a period of time she has got used to them, and doesn't get frightened anymore. If she hears them when she is eating her food, she'll simply say, "I am eating soup and lizard is making noise" and continue eating. In fact the other day, she tried to lift up some paintings and look for lizards.

Then there is the friendly neighbourhood squirrel. We can see them running about on our flame of the forest tree from the balcony. They also visit my mom's room where they steal the lining from the bags to make their nest. The other day, we saw them running up to the bags, and since that is the room A spends a lot of time there we wanted to get the squirrel out from there. So the maid's husband and the driver took a ladder climbed up there and chased the squirrel from the storage area, then it ran across the hall, crossing a surprised S and went to my dad's room. From there it was finally chased out of the house. S was totally excited by this and proceeded to repeat the story to whoever was interested. Again a couple of days later, the squirrel reappeared in my mom's room. This time S ventured into the room and saw it being chased out.

Then there are the two dogs we have at home. They are big boxers so they are tied up when S goes down. S feeds them parathas, bone biscuits, bread etc. Sometimes they are tied, sometimes they are left free (i am more scared than S at this point!) but S is pretty cool. The dogs hate all other dogs in the vicinity and whenever the other dogs cross our house on their walks our dogs will bark at them continuously for 10-15 mins. S has become quite used to this, and says that dog must be walking past.

Then there are the large number of moths, dragonflies and creepy crawlies which are all taken in stride. The other day S was taking a cloth to hit a moth and i was quite surprised since earlier she used to come running to me saying 'carry me' everytime a moth came close. She has also seen all os uf chasing after the moths with the broomstick and finds this highly exciting!

There was a friednly visit from an owl also which came into our house and sat on top of the hall cupboard. I screamed and hid in a room. When S was a small baby also a baby owl came and sat at our window- wonder what it is with owls and babies?

All in all S is having a grand time here. We see different types of birds from the window and she has also started recognising fruits - she knows the mango tree, coconut tree etc. I wish we had a big garden in Bombay, but i guess for now the visits to Ajjji's house would have to suffice.

Getting spoilt rotten

All three of us girls are getting spoilt rotten at my mom's place. S has stopped her playschool (she went for the first three weeks, hated it, complained to her ajji and has been allowed to discontinue) and bosses over everybody in the house the whole day. She feeds the dogs with her Ajja, plays and eats with her Ajji, is allowed to sit at the dining table and make a mess of all the food there, watches her movies on TV during breakfast, lunch and dinner and after dinner (Ajja and Ajji get to catch only snippets of their cricket matches), tells her Ajji not to have lunch, dinner, talk on the phone etc etc. The maid has been relieved of her other duties and spends most of her time playing with S- taking her to the terrace to water the plants, taking her down to the garden to play with her car/ cycle/see the dogs /watch the gardner at work etc. I'm mostly in charge of the outside entertainment and think i'm doing a decent job. S either goes to the neighbourhood park, or the large park fifteen mins away, orswimming , or to a friends place everyday. We've been pretty busy meeting other kids. Two of my cousins who stay in Bangalore have kids about one year older than S, and one of my cousins who stays in Australia was down for a month and her daughter is the same age as S. We've been meeting them pretty often- there was a kiddies pool party at my cousin's place where they put up inflatable pools for the kids- they had called us, my cousin with 2 kids. another couple with two kids, and a neighbour with one kid so the pools very pretty packed. S enjoyed herself quite a bit, but i had not got swimming diapers for her, so took her out of the pool in about 1/2 hour. But she enjoyed playing in the garden after that- they have a slide in the garden, and many toys inside the house so she was quite busy, while i got to relax with a watermelon-vodka cocktail (was pretty yum!). The next time my cousins came over to my place, and again the kids went beserk. They had got some balloons along and kept bouncing them all over the place. They played hide and seek, and generally kept running around the house. My mom managed to entertain the older ones with stories, while the younger ones either slept in their bouncer ("A"), or crawled all over the house, or pulled out all my clothes/babies diapers from my cupboard. But we were chilling over wine/beer and were not too worried for a change. My cousin sometimes brings her son to the same park where i take S and afterwards we go over to their house and S loves to play on the swing and car in their house. Overall she's been pretty entertained and busy here. She misses the hubby a lot though and keeps asking to speak to daddy, and whenever she sees a book in which there's a daddy, or once when i introduced her to my cousin's husband as this is X's daddy she's quick to say " where's my daddy".

I've been getting prety much spoilt as well. Starting from the late sleep ins in the morning, when my mom takes care of A, to getting out for dinner with the hubby alone without kids (after so long!!)- we went to Sunny's -lovely place, don't know why i haven't been before, to getting out for a lunch to my cousin's place and leaving A behind, to even catching a movie ("Love Happens, not so great, but enjoyed the afternoon out), going swimming thrice a week (best way to lose weight after a C-Sec, i manage to do about 11 laps now for 25 mins which while not great is some exercise!) and even getting an afternoon siesta while my mom oversees the baby maid looking after A. Yes i am getting terribly spoilt and wonder how i am ever going to go back to work! Not to mention the endless cups of coffee at home and the yummy food, and not having to lift a finger.

A is the least spoilt. The baby maid is with her the whole day, and plays with her, talks to her and looks after her pretty well. I am less attentive this time- maybe because of S (she wants me around a lot more, and i spend a lot of time trying to take her out to places), or maybe because i want a little more time for myself (swimming, going out once in a while) since i know this will not be the case once i get back to Bombay and my mom wont be around to look after the kids, and maybe because I know at this stage i can get away with this, but once A become older she will be more demanding of my time. Maybe I'm a bad mother, and sometime i feel quite guily about not spending more time with A, but she is happy and we all dote on her. Her grandfather especially and she has a special smile for him evertime he speaks to her.

Just a month more here...sigh...

The Herculean task of getting a US Visa

My brother is having the thread ceremony of both his sons in the US this year. We were largely undecided about going. It's in June, and A would be only 4 months then. Not sure whether we should travel with such a young baby, and also the hassles in taking two children- one at the troublesome two's stage, and the other so young. But we decided to bite the bullet and go- mainly because its such an important family event, everyone is going to be there, by brother and sis-in-law and more importantly my nephews would be upset if their bue and foofa did not show up. Also my parents would be there throughout so they could help look after the children. So we are going to SF where the hubby's sisterlives, and then to Minneapolis where the thread ceremonies are going to be held (where my second brother lives) and then onto Tampa where my first brother lives. Should be relatively easier in my brothers place since my parents would be there to help out.

Anyway getting to the story of the US visa. Once we had decided to go- about a month after A was born- the first month was pretty crazy since i fell ill, then S was very ill for some time and once things had settled down we decided to go for it. We started with the birth certificate, which got delayed since we took a long time deciding on A's name- both the hubby and I had different shortlists of names nad kept looking at new names, until we both agreed on this one. Once we had the name sorted, we quickly applied for the birth certificate and got it in a couple of days. Then we had to apply for the passport- that is a complicated affair on the internet which the hubby has figured from S' passport time, we got the date and then started the process of collecting all the documents. Since we recently moved into our new house we did not have proper address proof so we collected a variety of docs- bank statements, letter from comapny syaing we stayed in this house, letter from the chairman of the society saying we are staying there and so on. Finally, armed with these docs i went to the passport office (the hubby could not make it, so i left both the girls at home with my mom) and applied for the passport under the Tatkal scheme- we had to since the passport is usually sent by courier to the house but since i was leaving for Bangalore the same week there would be no one at home during office hours to collect the passport- under the Tatkal scheme you can opt to pick up the passport from the passport office, which is what we wanted. However getting the passport under Tatkal is slightly more complicated as you first need to get the approval of the Regional passport officer to apply under the Tatkal scheme- which is in the old passport office, then you need to go to the new passport office to submit the documents and pay the fees. Whew.. finally we managed to get the passport after a week.

Then the visa process begins. They no longer allow the child to travel on the mothers passport so you need to get a separate visa and passport for the child. Now the hubby, me and S already have US visas since we travelled to the States last years as well, but A needed a visa. Also the American consulate insists that the child be present for the visa interview regardless of the age. The plan was to apply for the visa early and book a date for the end of May, and we would return to Bombay from Bangalore a week before leaving for the US (first week of June), attend the visa interview with A in Bombay then and then leave for the US holiday immediately afterwards. But things didnt work out so easily. Firstly they dont allow you to specify a date when you are applying, you need to pay the visa fees and then go online and choose from one of the dates available. There were no dates available for the first five days, and we were trying every couple of hours. Then we started getting worried, and despite calls to VFS and mails to the US consulate requesting for a date there was no respone, other then try on the net every hour (!) So we decided to go with the first date available when we got the chance, rather than wait till end of May and be stuck with a similar situation then if dates are not available then. If we left it too late, and then dates were not available then we would really be in a soup since we had already bought the tickets, paid for the visa and also did not want to disappoint the family. I finally managed to get a date on April 17th which was also luckily a Saturday. This meant I would need to fly into Bombay with A for the visa and fly back, since there was more than a month left of my break in Bangalore. So i decided to fly alone with A on Friday evening, and leave S with my parents in Bangalore, and fly back to Bangalore the next evening. I was slightly worried about flying alone with a 2 month old (never flew alone with a child before) and also about leaving S at mom's place. But it was much easier than i expected. S is very fond of her Ajji and stayed back quite happily with my mom- though my mom had a rough night of it- S has the habit of waking up many times and kicking and shouting in the night, and the hubby and I are quite used to it so we don't wake up every time she does that, but my mom was quite surprised and had a very disturbed night. S would not let her get up early in the morning also!

On the way to Bombay, my dad came to the airport and came with me upto security check. He did the check for me and also managed to get me upgraded to Club class with his miles. after secrurity check there was a Jet airways person helping me so i was well taken care of till the flight. I managed to feed A in the baby care room before boarding so she was also in playful mood. On the flight i kept A on my lap throughout so was not able to eat/ go to the loo but since its a short flight (1 hr 20 mins) and there was no delay (lucky!) it was not that bad. The hubby picked us up and we reached home around 11 pm.

A slept at 1 am and woke up at 6 for her feed. We had to leave for the US consulate at 7:15 am so i didnt get a chance to get back to sleep after waking up at 6 - which is quite different from the pampering i get in Bangalore where my mom looks after A in the morning and i get to sleep in till about 8:30. We reached the US consulate at 8 am, gave A part of her feed (since they dont allow much into the Consulate) and then the hubby took A inside for the "interview". The hubby i must admit is better at managing the kids in such situations as i get stressed unneccesarily. A cried appropriately when standing in the queue and they allowed the hubby and her to go ahead for the interview. They asked my husband a couple of standard questions to justify the stupidity of calling a 2 month old for a visa interview, and then said the visa would be done in a couple of days. All in all the entire process took half an hour- for which i had to fly down all the way there and back.

The return flight was more tiring- i had to check in myself while carrying A, the flight was delayed by more than an hour and i had to sit in the crowded departure gate for close to 11/2 hours- had gone early so that i would avoid the rush. The flight was ok- Kingfisher Airlines is pretty considerate- they had kept the middle seat next to me empty since i was carrying a baby,so I could put A there for some time while i had my snack, and even managed to catch an episode of Friends on the TV. My mom and S were waiting for us at the airport - S was playing with the trolley and ignoring the nice toys my mom had bought for her at the airport.

In a couple of days A's passport arrived with the visa and I thought all done! But not yet..it seems a physical ticket has to be issued for A and my travel agent has now applied for it. Today i got a call from her saying that they are asking for A's height and weight (???)-doesn;t make much sense since both would change by the time we fly, but i gave it nonetheless and now keeping fingers crossed that there is no issue in the tickets.

Now for the shopping for the nephews...

Parks in Bangalore

The thing i love best about Bangalore (other than the pampering at home) is the parks. There are so many of them, and many of them are very child friendly parks. Just outside our house is a small park- won't be more than 50 ft by 100 ft but it has a walking path, a gazebo for people to sit, as well as small benches around the walking path, and a children's playground with slides, swings, monkey bars, climbing bars, roundabout- sitting and standing. Very convenient- i can just walk out of the house with S without bothering with getting an auto, carryign a wallet/mobile etc and the walk is just about 2-3 mins. Have taken A once as well, with my mom walking her around in the pram, while i played with S in the park. Also the children's play area has a library where children can go and read books, and play with toys there. S spends at least 10 mins there whenever i take her to that park.

Another park we go to frequently is KrishnaRao park. Its about a 10-15 mins drive from my place so it takes more planning and effort to get there. I usually take A also when i go there and my mom and dad walk her around the park in the pram while i take S to the playground section. The playground is amazing- there is a section for handicapped children which is accesbile by wheelchair and has riniging bells, beads to play, tubular bells and other assorted play things. There are many slides, see saws, swings- bucket for smaller kids, flat bench typefor older kids and two tyres to swing from for much older kids (i put S on that once and she was too scared to swing on it, maybe after a year), tunnels of tyres and of wire mesh, land roundabouts and air roundabouts, and this is all one section for older kids and there's another section for younger kids with similar stuff but smaller size. Wonderful. And its not even very crowded. The park itself is wonderful to walk around in, with huge trees, large ground where people are playing cricket etc. As against Bombay they dont charge for people using the parks in Bangalore, and still the crowd is relatively less (maybe because there are so many more neighbourhood parks with each park having a kids play area that people dont have to all throng to one park).
I still have to explore Lalbagh and Cubbon park and will update after seeing those!

A turns 2 today

A is 2 months old today. We made semiya (semolina) paisa (kheer) at home today to celebrate. True that A cannot have any of the kheer, but we all had it and wished A all the best. I also got a cake for S and me to eat ( i love chocolate cake and wait for any occasion to buy it!).
A is growing up so fast. She has started sleeping for 5 hours at a stretch in the night, keep fingers crossed that she does not reverse the habit as soon as i write about it! She has started responding when we talk to her with a coo or a gurgling noise, her eyes and face follow us when we move around the room, she has started smiling when we talk to her, reaching out for our chain/dupatta/hand etc
Her hair has suddenly become poker straight (like the hubby) -it used to be curly earlier, and she has already started asserting herself- she wont have a drop of milk more than she wants, either she starts howling when i try to give her more milk, or she'll keep her mouth firmly shut.
She's started being awake a lot more during the day and kicking her hands and legs vigorously about. She smiles when her elder sister touches her or talks to her, and follows her around the room with her eyes. S also has started playing somewhat with her younger sister- she pinches her cheeks calling her chubby cheeks, puts cream on her face, tries to brush her hair, tries to pick her up (at which point i have to rush in and stop her saying that she and the baby both have to be older for this), wants to change her nappy- but she draws the line at sharing her Dora doll with A and has asked me to buy another 'small' Dora doll for A!
Happy birthday dear A!

Addendum to Discplining S

My sis-in-law came to my rescue in the standoff between S and me yesterday. Despite the cold shoulder from me for over 2 hours yesterday, S refused to say sorry and i was wondering how to salvage the situation without eating humble pie and ensuring that S got the point.

I mean i did not want to give her the cold shoulder endlessly, but neither did i want her to think calling me stupid was acceptable. My sis in law had some good solutions- one was that if i was to try the ignore technique, i should set a time frame for it, saying that i would not play with S for say 1 hour and then we would chat with her about her behaviour. The other solution was that if S was being stubborn about saying sorry, then i could ask her to tell sorry in some other way- for eg give me a hug and then we resolve the situation. I finally went for this and got a big hug from S and i think she understood that she had done something wrong as she ran to my mom who had gone out for a couple of hours and said she had done something bad and mummy was angry.

Disciplining S

S has over the last few months started throwing a lot of tantrums and generally misbehaving when she doesn't get her way. I initially put it down to the fact that between December and January we shifted houses, changed her school and her baby maid stopped coming (she had been with us for a year and S was quite atatched to her). But for the last 2 months she has had her Ajji and me at her beck and call, and she is entertained every minute of the day. So i thought the tanrtums would die down without me needing to resort to any disciplinary steps, but that is not to be. Nowadays she screams if me or my mom have lunch instead of putting her to bed, or if we try to brush or her hair, and her recent peeve is that i should not feed the baby, or i should not burp the baby and i should instead put her down on the cot. Today i got really upset when S called me stupid for refucsing to stop burping the baby. And i am really at a loss on how to handle this. I tried to get S to apologise for calling me stupid but she is being very stubborn and refusing to say sorry. I dont want to give her timeout for this, i think when she says mean things she should say sorry, but however many times i have asked her to say sorry she just refuses to. I have refused to speak to her, play with her and even carry her, and she seems to understand that this is due to her bad behaviour and while that makes her upset, she still refuses to say sorry. I don't want to press the point any further (its already been an hour of the cold shoulder and its not having the impact i wanted) but I feel that if i dont make her apologise she would think she can get away with it. So what do you think, continue the cold shoulder for some time, or give her a timeout (consists of being alone in a room for 2 mins), or just forget it.

Vaccines - how much to trust the doctors?

Read a disturbing story in today's Times about how doctors are prescribing expensive vaccines without informing the mothers/fathers that there are cheaper alternative available which do the job just as well. The Government has prescribed a range of diseases for children to be vaccinated against, and there are a series of drugs available - But doctors often provide the much more expensive option since they pocket the difference which is shockingly high in many cases (refer below article). My doctor is a case in example- initially she used to tell me that she is using the more expensive injection since chance of fever for the baby is less, and i was fine with that.. Later she began using the more expensive injections without even informing that there is a choice, And while this is ok for me since the company reimburses the medical bills, it is certainly not ok for many other who cannot afford such expensive vaccines, or would probably need to forego something in order to pay for the imported vaccine without being aware that there is an alternative available.
Then there is the whole issue of additional vaccines which are not on the mandatory list but which the doctor will puch onto you saying it is good for the child-and i for one find it very difficult to say no when someone qualified as a doctor says that something is good for the child. Again the margins for the additional vaccines are very high as most of these are imported.

The main worrying thing about the vaccines though is their age/quality. Around the time S was 2 months old and many of her vaccinations were due, there were a series of reports in the newspaper about how small babies had been given old vaccines/spoilt vaccines and had died. Extremely scary. There are frequent power cuts in India and many of the vaccines need to be refrigerated, so the older they are the higher the chance of them being spoilt. So best to go to a dcotor who has lots of patients so that the drugs are rotated often and lesser chances of the drugs being old in my view

Lastly the whole question of whether to vaccinate or not? there is the problem of the child getting high fever after the vaccine (not in all cases though). Then many people believe that the child should build their own immunity for the milder diseases (pneumonia for instance) and also the vaccine does not provide protection against all strands of that particular virus (again pneumonia- the PCV only provides protection against one strain of pnemonia). My thought on this is that -should vaccinate against all major diseases, I would also try to vaccinate against the minor ones such as pneumonia where the child has a higher chance of contracting the disease ( I get chest congestion very often and very easily so would protect against this) but other minor diseases where likelihood is less and can be avoided with care I would chose not to vaccinate.


The referred article.....
Docs pocket hefty money for shots
Give Vaccines Not Recommended For Universal Immunization
Vaccines are meant to help prevent diseases. But they could also have another vital use as an alternative and significant source of income for doctors. Many vaccine manufacturers are offering vaccines at hugely reduced prices to doctors, many of whom charge the full price from patients, pocketing the difference. The greater the discount, the bigger the profit margin for the doctor. So when a doctor pushes a vaccine that is not part of the universal immunization programme, it would be difficult to decide whether he is thinking of your child’s health or his pocket. A study by Dr Rakesh Lodha of the Department of Paediatrics, AIIMS, and Dr Anurag Bhargav of Jan Swasthya Sahyog in Chhattisgarh, published in a recent issue of the Indian Journal of Medical Ethics, reveals the huge difference in the price of vaccines offered to doctors. “The percentage margin between the price to doctors and the MRP ranges from 30% to 69%, while in rupee terms, the discount over the MRP per vaccine dose ranges from Rs 85 to Rs 620,” the study says. Many vaccines require giving three or more doses and hence the profit margin could be as high as Rs 1,800 per child vaccinated. Interestingly, the vaccines being offered at hugely discounted prices to doctors are not those that are recommended for universal immunization. Such aggressive promotion is for new and expensive vaccines and combination vaccines whose use in the Indian context is “not well established in terms of epidemiological rationale or cost-benefit analysis”, says Dr Lodha. In yet another study, consultant paediatrician Dr Yash Paul from Jaipur found that the difference between the MRP and the price for doctors or chemists is very small for vaccines which are part of the National Immunisation Programme. The huge discount of Rs 500-Rs 600 is only for the newer vaccines. Dr Paul points out that doctors would be tempted to administer newer discounted vaccines which give them a huge profit margin. “If the difference between the MRP and cost to the doctors is equal or nominal, doctors may consider the comparative merits of the vaccines instead,” states Dr Paul. He cites the example of the DPT vaccine, recommended for universal immunization, which has an MRP of Rs 15.50, and given to doctors at the discounted price of Rs 12.50, a minimal difference, whereas the MRP of DaPT, a modified newer version of DPT is Rs 699 and the cost for doctors is Rs 595.

S talk

S has started chattering a lot these days. When in a good mood she chats by herself and talk ranges from nursery rhymes, to stories, to general observations on what she has been doing that day. I can't believe some of the things she says-
- I am bored of soup
- Thank you god for the tiffin, for everything
- Why did you pinch Dora, why did you pinch bottle
-Mama i want to do Babba
-Go away Suman (said to all people even if they are not named Suman)
- don't eat Ajji (my mom should not waste time eating, time which can be better used playing with S!)
- don't do meditation Ajji
-Mama, dont wear chappals in the bathroom
-wash hands now (means stop eating, wash hands and come and play with me)
-i am only putting (i want to wear my own shoes, diaper, pant, shirt etc etc)
- i am putting straightly
-Mama don't shout- i have a bad temper, and this is the only time i calm down immediately and feel quite ashamed for shouting
-Series of rhymes- Lo lo low your boat (she can't say rrr yet); little jack horner, hickory dickory dock, rock a by baby, goosie goosie gander
-some things she picked up in school- P ne khaya, R ne pakda, S ne khata, Hum sabne dekha, Bada maza aaya!!; Swallowed a peanut...
-very nice/lovely-for some food item she really likes
-put babbu in the crib
-dont feed babbu now (bit difficult to deal with this since S has started getting upset everytime i feed A)
-range of stories of how pigeon came, monkey came, lizard came and how some person picked up a broom and chased them away- courtesy Ajji's imagination during feed time
-Daddy is strong, Ajji is strong, Mummy is small (since i could not carry S during the last trimester and after the C-Sec)
Will post more as and when i recollect her little gems!

A's first trip to the park

We took A to her first trip to the park. She was bundled into her red pram and we walked to the neighbourhood park (one major advantage of Bangalore is that every nieghbourhood has a nice park for walking with a play area for kids). She did much better than i expected- she was staring at the sky and trees for the first ten minutes and then promptly went off to sleep. Unlike S who spent her first visit to the park in her pram howling so we had to rush back home. So S was playing in the playground with the hubby while i was pushing A around with her granddad!

Of 2 am soaps and late night movies

I am now the expert of what all comes on TV at 2 am in the night, courtesy A. A sleeps peacefully throughout the day and is wide eyed from 11 pm onwards when the rest of the house starts shutting down. 11 am t0 4 am is my official time to look after her since my mom sleeps at that time, so after many unsuccesful attempts to switch off the light and put A to bed in the bedroom, i give up, come to the living room, switch on the TV and mindlessly flick through channels. The preferred ones are Star World and Star Movies since those are ones with subtitles which can be watched on mute, and now i'm up to date on eposides of Prison Break (never heard of it before), Sons and Daughters and other such serials. Miss Friends though- thought there was a 12 am episode running earlier.

The hubby, who gets his daily 10 hours of sleep insists i should keep A awake more during the day. Frankly dont see how that is possible, since she is too young for us to distract her with some toys or a story. She only cries when we try to keep her awake and then we're forced to put her to bed The hubby also suggested putting water on her or giving her a cold water bath!!!! after some unsuccesful attempts to keep A in a sitting position to keep her awake - she slept through that as well!
My cousin, who had the same problem with her daugher, suggested giving a sleep medicine in the night which would break the cycle once and hopefully change it for the better. But i feel A is too young to give such medicines, so will go back to the mindless surfing of channels for now.
Btw can't beleive there are so many teleshopping channels suddenly- rather many channels only have teleshopping at 2 am in the night- do people really shop at this time?

A joins us

A, our darling baby daughter joined us on the 10th of February. She turns one month tomorrow, and how the days have flown by. The birth story is a long episode and will take another post but suffice it to say it was not I how had expected it to be!
Handling two kids is really a handful, but i luckily have the support of my mom and a full time baby maid. End of this month i will be leaving for Bangalore with my mom and the two kids and am there for two months, by which time i should have learnt to manage two kids on my own a bit better hopefully.
S seems quite happy with the new arrival and keeps kissing her, pulling her 'chubby cheeks' and patting her. She helps out with bringing the nappy and soap and shampoo for bath and keeps asking to comb the baby's hair. But her other behaviour has become quite terrible and i feel she is showing her unhappiness with the new kid getting the attention in other places. She starts crying and wailing loudly for the smallest of things- if we ask her to get off the swing (we have a swing now at home- Daddy's gift for S on her second birthday, she loves it and spends at least an hour on it everyday), or dont show her Nemo for the 100th time in a week, or if her Ajji has lunch instead of watching Nemo with her- really small things which she would have been ok with earlier. She has also started wailing to go and come back from school(but luckily over the last few days that has got better). So far we have been able to manage my mom (her Ajji) looking after S during all the feeds - in fact my mom only looks after her most of the time since i need to give so much time to A. But today my mom had to go out for sometime and that also coincided with A's feed time. When i got up from the living room where i was sitting with S to feed A, she started crying and stamping her feet, insiting that i should carry her, I carried her for 5 minutes and then A started crying louder and louder and I tried to explain to S that see A is crying , i need to feed her , why dont you sit next to mama and read this book, but she insisted that i carry her, andcontinued to sit ony my lap. Finally i put S down and she howled for some time before the maid took her to the swing to distract her. Hope S grows out of this soon, or i'm going to be a very tired and upset mother soon!

A is quite different from S. Firstly she looks more like the hubby whereas S looks like me. She is also a night baby- most nights she is awake from 2:30-4:30 feeding and playing and sleeps through large parts of the day. S had got the day-night routine right from day one and used to play quite a bit during the day and wake in the nights only for the feeds. Also A is quite aggressive in her demands from day one and insists on being carried on the lap most of the day even when she’s awake, while S used to play quite happily in the Moses basket by herself. Anyway I now know most of the late night shows on tv and have caught two three movies with subtitles running at 3 in the morning! Wonder when this cycle will reverse- its manageable now since my mom looks after both the kids in the morning and I get sleep till 8:30-9 am.

Other updates in brief
We celebrated S second birthday on the 6th with a Jerry cake, a swing and motorbike from her dad, earrings from me (ears not pierced yet though!), earrings from Ajji and flowers and new dress from her Bua. Decided not to have a party and call other kids since I was not sure whether I would be in the nursing home or at home, and anyway S doesn’t really play games at birthday parties, or interact that much with the other kids- maybe for her third birthday she will herself be excited about a party, and cake and friends
We played Holi this year after a long time. It was S first Holi experience and she really enjoyed playing with the pichkari (its got lights and she still plays with it), and the water gun. WE played within the building and there was another kid (muchy older) who kept throwing water on S and the hubby helped S in spraying him back with water. S was not very thrilled with the colours being put on her face so we put only a bit on her face and more on her arms!
We moved house, sold our old place and rented a new one. Two main goals- one to move into a better apartment (achieved) and two to reduce the ties to Bombay ( I don’t like this city). The packing and unpacking was quite hectic but my mom and dad were there to help, otherwise it would have been very tiring in the ninth month. The new apartment is quite nice- the security is good, the neighbours are friendly (one of them came over with a packet of brownies to welcome us) and best of all, there is a girl of S age in the flat below us- so far the interaction has not been the best given S mood swings and temper tantrums, but am hoping it would improve over time
For New Years this year we went to Kashid, a beach resort about 3 hours from Bombay to a friends place. It was with old college friends and well worth the effort (driving there and back over two days) and S enjoyed all the attention being the only kid there! My friend has a dog- and S kept feeding him biscuits, running after him etc. My friends kept her well entertained pointing out flowers, birds, giving her various creams to play with (she loves that) and she played in the beach and water with the hubby. New years night we went to my friend's parents friend place where there was another girl of S age, so some time went in playing with her toys, running around with her etc.
Back to the two kids now!

Happy New Year : Part 1

Happy New Year : Part 1

Happy New Year to my darling S. Last year was a mixture of ups and downs- struggling with managing a full time job and bringing up S, managing two houses, a terrible first trimester, difficult maids, S breaking into school ( 10 days of heartbreak for me to hear her cry) as well as tons of joy everyday- S first nursery rhyme, first full sentence (“Thank you God for the tiffin”), first tantrum, first fall from the swing and monkey bars at the park, first sports day, first swim at the pool…. and so many other firsts I could go on. Its been a great 2009 and the only resolution I make for 2010 is to spend more time with S and to be a more patient mother. First should be more easily achieved with my 6 months maternity leave coming up in a couple of weeks, second promises to be a stretch with the second baby to arrive soon!
2010 is going to be a struggle, I was quite a paranoid mother when S was born and fussing over anything and while I have resolved not to be as fussy this time round, old habits die hard and am sure while I may not have the time and energy to be as particular as I was last time, it will still be a very big struggle managing two kids, especially with S entering her “Trying Twos”. Lot of people ask me whether S knows she is going to get a brother/sister soon, and I say that she really does not understand the concept. The hubby and I have told her many times that there is another babbu coming, and she will need to play with the babbu and be loving to the babbu, and she does stroke my tummy and say Hi to the babbu once in a while, but my sense is that she really does not understand the entire concept and how the baby is going to be very small, and will take up some of mummy and daddy’s time etc. Keeping fingers crossed that S takes it all in stride.

The last few weeks have been quite hectic. Almost like we are trying to fit in all the socializing and outings before the second baby comes and life changes quite dramatically again. Christmas was a long four day weekend since there was another holiday on the Monday after.

Christmas day (Friday) we spent the evening at a college friends place. She has a one year old son and S was quite friendly with him- she pushed him on his swing a couple of times and even tried speaking to him. Then after some time she became more interested in his toys and spent most of the evening going through all of them. There are some really cute pictures of the two kids together. This is my college friend whom I have known for close to 14 years and it was really nice to see our kids playing together! Similar feeling to the other day I had gone to another close friend’s place whose son is 4 years old and he played with S for about an hour.

The next day we went for the night show of 3 Idiots. The first half of the movie is brilliant and had us in splits. The second half drags unnecessarily and some of the incidents are too unbelievable, But overall we enjoyed the movie, and so did S who was awake for part of the movie and enjoyed the song “All is Well” and still repeats it from time to time. Anyway the movie finished only at 1:30 in the night and it was well past two before we slept. S and I slept till 10 the next morning (she woke up again in the last ½ hour and was so excited by the whole experience that she refused to sleep even after we got home and was jumping in the bed well past 2). The hubby had a shoot in Pune the next day so he was up and away pretty early. Luckily S slept till 10 otherwise Sunday would have been really difficult to manage without the hubby.

Sunday night we hosted a party at home for my friend who was down from the States. She is also expecting and must have been quite shocked to see S in one of her vomiting states (we fed her dinner a bit early since guests were coming and I think she was too full!). Anyway S had her dinner again and settled down after that and sat on one of the sofas watching Nemo on her Daddy’s laptop and venturing out once in a while to take some chips from one of my friends. Dinner itself wound up pretty early since everyone was tired from their hectic traveling schedule- only one of my friends landed up at 11 pm after everyone at left and S was still awake so they both played together for some time. Finally slept at some 12 midnight

Monday was relatively less eventful. Had some office work in the morning, spent the day lazing around, and in the night went to Mainland China for dinner. Its one of my favourite restaurants in Bangalore, and once I heard that they had opened a branch near my place was waiting to try it out. But food was disappointing- very oily and I had a slight stomach upset after that.
Will update on New Year weekend in next post.