My father's dream

 And so I ended up selling the plot of land my dear Daddy had bought for me 30 years ago, to secure my future. He had always dreamed that our family would settle down in that colony - being close to him and my Mom in their old age. It is a lovely colony with a lake, jogging track and like-minded neighbours. For  a very long time N and I planned our retirement there. But life has its own plans for us. 

Daddy did so much to help develop the colony - when i told our neighbour today I had sold the plot, she said Daddy was like a father figure for the colony. 

Am sorry dear Daddy, I could not fulfill your dream. I've made Mummy also sad by moving so far away to the USA. I hope and pray that you will still be happy with my decision - the money from sale of the land will go a long way in securing our family's future in the USA and giving me the peace of mind and courage to make such a big move - going into a completely new work place and starting life again in a new country, at the age of 48. I think, you would be happy that you could give me this stability and even if I didn't end up living in that colony, it has helped me to secure a permanent base for our family. I hope and pray dear Mummy comes and lives with us. I miss you dear Daddy. I know you would have been so proud to tell everyone that your daughter is now Director in a Bank in New York. 

As we leave Singapore

 And so the time has come to bid adieu to Singapore. And it's not easy. So many significant moments and milestones have passed by here

-S finished her high school and got into the college of her dreams

-A finished her GCSEs and looks forward to completing her high school in the USA

- I got my career traction back and move as Director to New York

-N struggled through 2.5 years to and fro Delhi to secure a good base for us to invest in the USA greencard

-Darling Fido joined us in 2019

I've made good friends in office and a wonderful team, with supportive bosses. Will be moving to a completely new world with new colleagues. I hope I succeed. 

Children have become adults. They have so little time for us now. Have to reconcile to a new state of being. 

Leaving Singapore is also like leaving India again. The convenience of Bangalore being a short flight away - able to jump in and go and see Mum. I counted and I've done average 4 trips to Bangalore in 2024 & 2025 and 3 in 2026. I will miss that so much. Hopefully Mum will come and stay on extended visits with us in New York.

Life was also easy in Singapore - help at home, excellent transport and infrastructure, Indian restaurants and Little India with temples and flowers/decorations for Puja, Diwali celebrations. Comfortable weather to just walk out in shorts and sandals. No judgy colleagues. 

Will be a completely new ball game in the USA. God and Master give our family the strength, wisdom, courage and patience to stay safe, healthy, happy in the USA and to succeed in our ambitions. May we be close as a family. 

A Strange New Year Celebration

 Twas the first New Year's Eve spent without S. She had gone for a party and returned at 1 am. The hubby, A and I watched 'The Prestige' on Apple TV, ordered dinner from Guzman & Shake Shack and valiantly stayed awake till midnight to wish each other. And then till 1 am to wish S.

Thought about dear Ajji spending her second New Year's Eve without Ajja. Last year we were all together at my aunt's place for NYE. This time Mom was alone. They never had a bash for NYE or anything, but would still imagine them watching TV together and recollecting the highlights of the year. My Dad who would be up for any party or activity. 

Felt strange to have S away from us for the NYE. She is only 17, I thought I had a few more years before the children became all grown up.

2026 is a very big year for us. Many many life challenges. I pray to God and Master for the courage, strength and grace to face these many changes. Is the year S goes to University. Fingers crossed is the year we move to the USA. A gets into a US school. And the hubby or I, at least one of us should get a job in the USA. Where to move in the USA? How to manage Fido? How to learn to drive again? How will A manage in a completely new school environment? How to give up the simple ease of living in a country like Singapore and go make a complete new start in a  vast country like USA, at this age and stage of life. 

God and Master, give us the strength to manage this big transition. And wish our family a wonderful New Year, with the best coming to us in this new year.

Happy Father's Day

 Dearest Daddy

Miss you so much on Father's Day. Even though we haven't been able to spend it together in a while, it was always special, marked by flowers send by me, cake sent by my brother and the call wishing you Happy Fathers Day.

You would play Bridge and proudly show the bridge players the flowers I had sent. And share the cake my brother had sent. The small joys of life. 

On this day i remember all the special things we did together and the things we never got around to doing. 

-Going for the first Jurassic Park in Chanakya cinema

-Teaching me driving and then getting me an instructor when i was too nervous

-Going for concerts together in the Ram Navami mandal

-Playing tennis in Dulwich park

-Watching movies together

I never got around to learning how to play bridge from you. Though i was always fascinated that you would  play for hours together on Sunday with your friends. 

I never got to get career tips from you on how to navigate the politics at work. You had a much much more stressful and difficult job in the Police, and the decisions you made and the people you spoke to as a Diplomat are much more difficult and life changing than the small decisions and problems I face in banking. Still would have loved to get some advice on the struggles i face.

Am happy though that I got to sit with you and work on your autobiography- that way i learnt so many interesting things about your career and your life- such a colourful and fulfilling life you had dear Daddy, not only working hard, but maintaining relationships with your friends, promoting the arts & music in Singapore and India, looking out for all of us. 

Love you Daddy. Please bless us as always. 

Happy Birthday

 A different kind of birthday where I learn to be grateful for the things I have and yearn for the things gone by

Grateful to spend the birthday with my family and touched by the special things they did. Hubby tried to bake two cakes which collapsed miserably and finally ordered my favourite variety - strawberry shortcake

The girls made lovely birthday cards

Manju bought me flowers

We had a lovely dinner in a Greek restauarant

Went to Sreenivas Perumal temple, which coincidentally was the first temple I went to at 40 days old

Missed my Daddy's call. Always the first to wish. Super enthusiastic and full of greetings. Miss you Daddy.

Apple of my eye

 My heart is heavy. I have not grieved enough. My beloved father passed away in September'24. Though his last few years were not exactly what he would have wanted for himself, or what we would have wished for him, it is still a great loss to have my darling father, my personal cheerleader pass away. 

I was always the 'Apple of his eyes', his darling daughter who could do no wrong. He was proud of all my successes however small they were. When I was working in Citibank he would proudly proclaim, my daughter, Vice President in Citibank. When i was a homemaker in Zurich, he would say, my daughter who brings up two lovely children, drives on the cold snowy roads and runs a house by herself. And most recently when i got back to work at DB he would again say my daughter, VP at DB. 

He supported me immensely in my studies and my career. With my Mum he would land up in Zurich, in London, look after the children, be at home, while i pursued one job after another, struggling to get back to full time work and climb the career ladder. He would gladly take on the most strange requests - I'm worried my nanny cannot drive the two screaming girls alone in the car- can you go with her for the first week to make sure she's driving the car confidently. Or, girls are getting bored, go walking with Mummy to the swimming pool and oversee their swimming lessons. 

Daddy would happily wait to watch Chota Bheem or Karadi Tales with the girls, and then later in the night some Hind or English move with me. If i was coming come late at night in Bangalore, he would be waiting till I reached home. 

Any trouble I had in my studies my Dad could solve. I don't like law college, am coming back to Delhi - no problem go do Maths in Stephens. Maths is so tough I'm going to fail, no problem, will find a tutor for you. Of course I was totally pampered but that's ok because once I got married I was not pampered even for a minute. So in life's overall balance i think it makes up.

What do I regret most, that I didn't spend more time with my Dad in the last few years. Work was just too all consuming and if not working then looking after the kids. Am glad I was able to help Dad write his autobiography but I never got the chance to learn bridge from him, speak to him about his police days, go for some concerts with him or watch some last few English movies with him. 

Miss you dear Daddy.  Keep looking out for us as you always do. 

As Time goes by

 How time flies, the days are long but the years are short. In the blink of an eye S is now 16 and A is 14. They are teenagers with a mind of their own. I cherish the time I got to spend with them over the years especially the years in Switzerland where I wasn’t working for the first few years and then had a simple part time job for the last few years. At that time I was filled with a yearning to have a more fulfilling and interesting job, but now I understand and am grateful for that opportunity to spend time with the children in the most beautiful place in the world.

S is fiercely independent, smart, outspoken in her views, yet kind and gentle. She’s emotional like me and gets stressed quickly but can plan well and find her way out of a situation.

A still the baby of the family, jolly and lively, always a pleasure to be around, Creative and bright, she brings a smile on everyone’s face.

Wish you girls all the best. In 2 years S would be off to college. I wish we could be in the same country or city as her, but if not, at least have equipped her with life lessons and habits to be happy, safe and self sufficient in the outside world.