Sibling bonding

A recent conversation with S

Hubby : We are going to Zurich for a few days next month . Mummy, daddy and S

S : What about A?

Hubby : Its very cold there right now so we're leaving A behind

S : Why? A had a pink flowery jacket no, she can wear that

Hubby not sure what to say now : Uhmm, its very cold for that jacket sweetie

After half an hour, with no reference to above conversation S says to me, A has pink flower jacket no, let her wear that and come to Zurich!

I can see more and more instances of sibling bonding and also some sibling rivalry between S and A now. If we praise A for doing anything- walking, climbing, or eating something on her own, then S will immediately do the same thing- including getting into A's bouncer! As a result A's bouncer is more or less completely unusable now and we've taken out S old bouncer.

A also wants only what S has - yesterday for instance I gave a bowl of popcorn for S and a smaller bowl for A. A had a couple from her bowl, and then went over to S to see whether she was having the same thing. She then refused to take from her own bowl and kept taking from S bowl! I think it would be simpler to keep one big bowl in the future. Even with books, if I am reading a book to S, then A will come and sit on my lap and insist on seeing the same book, and then if I ask S to go and do some activity, and continue reading the same book to A she will lose interest within 10 seconds!

Initially S used to get very upset if I took A alongwith me to pick her up from school, but slowly she has got adjusted to it and sometimes now when I go alone she asks why A has not come. I was pleasantly suprised when her teacher took A's name and told me that S had told her about A. She also helps me to feed A by showing her toys and entertaining her, and sometimes if A is crying during her bath (which she does if she's having head bath) then S will come inside, give her a toy and very sweetly say, "A stop crying"

The other day I finally managed to take both of them for the musical bonding class. S was initially quite clingy during the class and I was not sure how A would take to the music and loud noise so I took only S and went. But after about 5 classes S settled down with the other children, teacher there and finally I was confident enough to take them both. A was surprisingly independent. She sat next to me (while S sat on my lap) and either played the musical instruments, or would chew them!, or would look around in amazement at what's happening. It was also her usual nap time so she was a bit more subdued and did not generally walk around and try to pull down stuff. S kept bringing instruments for A to play and while the two of them did not play together, they did not fight with each other also!

But sometimes the green monster does rear its head. The other day in the park, for no reason whatsoever S picked up some sand and threw it near A's face! She hasn't done it again, but I need to be more careful till A gets older.

But its good fun to see them play together. Of course there are limited things they can do together- no clay/lego/magnets/stickers etc since A promptly puts it in the mouth. Even blocks, S will make a tower and A will proceed to demolish it, but they sometimes sit together on the cycle/ on the bike, the other day they sat on adjacent swings on the park! and even went on the same slide. At home they play ball with each other, but their favourite game is to climb on top of the sofa - not the sitting part but the headboard, which gives me many tense moments! Wonder how the younger ones always pick up the naughty habits first!

Liquid diets

I could not resist a post on my diet these days.

9 am : 1 cup bournvita

10 am: 1 cup tea

11 am: 1 cup tea

1 pm: Dal water

2:30 pm: Juice

5 pm : Chickoo/banana milkshake

6:30 pm : 1 cup tea

7:30 pm: 1 cup soup

9 pm: 1 cup soup/ dal water

9:30 pm: Protein shake

I've started experimenting with the 9 pm soup/dal water. Its either soup a friend gives, or home made vegetable soup, or recently I've started taking masoor dal (made for normal eating) and putting it in the blender with water. Yesterday it was chole alongwith one piece of aloo/capsicum. Sounds yuck, but it was quite yum !!!

Was looking at the net for what other people do with jaw fractures and it mainly seems to be protein shakes and milk shakes with Oreo. I am lucky I have held to prepare juice, dal water, soup etc for me and keep me well nourished every couple of hours. There's a cook book for drinking after jaw fractures also!!! must be a common affair. I read that some people blend beef steaks and potatoes also, so i guess chole is not so bad!!

Last Sunday the hubby and I went to a Chinese restaurant for lunch. I thought I'll have some soup. All the soups had something in them, so through clenched teeth I explained to the waiter to get me clear soup, he then proceeded to get me corn soup with whole corn kernels and small particles. I sent it back and he returned without the kernels, but still with small particles. I could not have more than 5 sips of the soup and got highly irritated by the whole experience. No more restaurants till I can have some semi solid food at least!

Am slightly apprehensive about our look see in Zurich scheduled in another couple of weeks. I get very tired unless I have something to drink every couple of hours - day before I went to office, then park and then to a colleague's wedding and was exhausted afterwards. Hope I can manage ok there.

As things turn out

January and February were to be spent exercising, learning German, frequenting my favourite restaurants and generally getting prepped up for our move in April. But things rarely turn out as one plans. Two weeks back I had a bad fall, one minute i was walking into the hall to pick up my mobile, and the next thing i know I was lying on the floor, my face covered in blood and a small pool of blood on the hall floor. I think I fainted, and fell down, and since i was not conscious didnt put out my hands in front to cushion the fall and took the impact on my chin and jaw. Not pretty. The last thing I remember was drinking water too fast and getting that heartburn feeling you get, feeling a bit dizzy.. I should have sat down immediately, but i thought I'd just pick up something from the hall and go back to the bedroom and sleep (this was around 12:10 am). Then i remember sleeping on the floor, in a dream state, I was reading Millenium 2 at that time and remember having some vague thoughts about Salander and martial arts and next thought was why am i sleeping, i was supposed to pick up my mobile, then i thought why am i sleeping on the floor in my room, and then finally i realised i was lying in the hall floor. I felt the blood, but did not immediately panic since I didnt feel much pain. After washing my mouth- I immediately felt some teeth were broken and some chipped, I realised the blood was not going, so I woke up the hubby. He saw my chin and said that there was a huge gash which might need stitching if the blood flow does not let. He spent the next 1 hour cleaning the wound, putting nebasulf and waiting for the blood to stop. We woke up the maid and asked her to sleep with A, since she was lying in my bedroom and I was making quite a racket there. S was fast asleep in the other room. The hubby called the hospital but they were not very encouraging on the doctor on duty being able to do stitches and gave some vague answers. But the blood flow stopped and we decided to wait till the next morning. The hubby went out at 1 am to get me some painkillers for the pain which had started and was quite bad. I was instructed to sleep with my chin up in one position and not move from side to side so that the wound does not get exposed and start bleeding again. I hardly got any sleep in the uncomfortable pose and the worry that the wound was something serious.

Next morning my entire lower teeth, jaw and chin were paining. Our family doctor came over and saw the wound and luckily said stitches were not required. He was not able to shed any light as to why I may have fainted, since this has never happened in the past, but said I should get an internal examination by a dentist. I put it off for a day since I was exhausted that day and I didnt thing it was anything that serious as the doc said it cant be a fracture since there is no swelling and I could move my jaw. But i was in for a big surprise at the dentist the next day. He immediately saw the wound, the mishapen bite and suspected a fracture. The X ray confirmed it- a complete break in the left jaw (just below the ear) and a crack in the right jaw. The oral surgeon recommended closed surgery to correct the fracture and the wrong bite (my teeth alignment had changed due to the fall and would only get worse if i left things the way they are). I tried to protest- who wants to be wired for 6 weeks, with my half baked knowledge from the net that this was a mild fracture, would heal naturally by just eating soft foods etc but they recommended it strongly, and when i took a second opinion from my doc he also recommended it after seeing the X rays. The hubby said the alignment of my jaw had changed and my face was not looking symmetrical so that psyched me completely.

So the next day itself I went in for the surgery. They gave me 8 injections (which they had said would be akin to small pricks--NOT!) but no anasthesia. They put a wire on the top part of my teeth and a wire on the bottom part, and then out elastic bands connecting the two and effectively shutting the jaw up completely. The surgery itself was not painful, but next few days were difficult with the teeth and jaw still paining from the fall, and now with the adjustment to the wires and I was on strong painkiller for a week. After a week, the painkillers completely stopped and the pain is also much less and apart from some shooting pains which happen mostly at night (where all the teeth feel as if they are being pulled together) it is mostly uncomfortable and no painful. There have been some painful side effects though- firstly many ulcers in the tongue and mouth, and now the right hand side gland in my mouth has swollen and there is some ear pain (the doc said one of the teeth must have infected from the fall). Looks like some root canals await me at the end of this wire treatment!

The closed surgery is not complicated, they don't cut you up or anything. The wires are usually on for 6-8 weeks and for the first 2-3 weeks usually the jaw is completely shut, then they loosen the elastic slighlty so you can open your mouth a bit. Its only liquids for the first 2-3 weeks and possibly semi sold food after. Even after complete recovery it is not recommended to have hard foods and stress your jaw as it takes time to completely heal.

I'm having a lot of liquids -something every 1-2 hours so i don't fell hungry. Liquids ranging from bournvita, soup, protein shake, chickoo milkshake, juice, tea, dal water etc etc but i really miss eating something solid. That combined with the shooting pains at times, the inability to do the things I want - German classes, exercise classes, eating at restaurants or rather eating at all, talking ( i can only talk through clenched teeth and that also pains after some time) makes me really irritable some times and I start thinking, why did this have to happen to me. Could have been entirely avoided and how could I have fainted just like that. And then I think it could have been much worse. What if I had not woken up at that time and a lot of blood had flowed? What if stitches had been required. What if the hubby had been on tour and I was alone with the kids and the maid- I really don't think I would have known what to do. I wouldnt have been able to decide whether the bleeding required hospital attention or first aid at home. And if hospital, it was 1 am do I wake up a friend to take me, leave the kids alone at home with the maid? This is the thing which worries me the most what if this happens in Zurich and I am along with the kids and hubby it travelling. I can only hope that I don't faint and I am going to equip myself with first aid knowledge and keep a first aid kit ready. Anyway luckily all this happened when hubby was in town, and while the wires are frustrating at least open surgery was not required.

And people have been amazing. My mother in law came for a week to help out with the kids as the hubby was travelling and it was really helpful. I could concentrate on resting and getting better while she helped look after the kids. My friends have been great- taking my kids to the park when i couldn't, coming and seeing my numerous times to take my mind of the pain, giving me nice books to read, fresh soup to drink and coming with me and the kids out so that I don;t sit at home and wallow in self pity.

So I thank God and Master that the fall was not more serious and that i am lucky enough to have such good family and friends to help me out. And hope to get better soon and out and around!

The IPL auction drama

This weekend I watched the IPL auction drama for some time. I had missed it the last couple of years, but decided to watch it this year to see what exactly happens. And i was not impressed. More shocked and disappointed. 

Firstly the auction where the players names are called out and the reserve bid announced against their names reminds me of a cattle auction. The only thing missing is the players parading up and down the stage. There was no bid for most of the players at their reserve price, some of which was as low as $20,000 (while as astonishing amount of nearly $2.5 mln was paid for Gambhir). This includes legends like Gayle, Chanderpaul, Ganguly and Lara. I guess some of them are past their prime, but some others like Gayle are surely affordable even if their reserve price was higher at $100,000. Gayle did help KKR win some games in the first and second IPL so his contribution cant be easily discounted.  It must be embarassing for cricket players not to get any bid, and telling on their skills, surely it was not necessary to broadcast this to a live audience. It could have been done privately and only the results announced to the press.

Secondly, the amounts bid for some players were quite astonishing with the Pathan brothers fetching close to $4.5 mln together (hopefully their parents will not get any threatening calls!) and other players such as Jadeja etc also fetching quite large sums. Much has been written and said that the IPL is a vulgar display of the wealth of these industry leaders, and this was evident in the large amounts being bid by each team for key players. It makes you think- can you justify paying $2.5 mln to Gambhir for playing x number of matches in one month, while so many people in the country are not able to get one proper meal a day. But I guess this is their private wealth and not the tax payers money and they are free to spend it as they wish. The only thing, is when you see them throwing away such large amounts of money in a matter of minutes, it makes you stop and think.

Still,  I watched the proceedings, with an open mouth and will probably discuss with colleagues why x was not chosen and y was chosen, as I am sure will most other people, some of whom would have the auction from morning to evening, so the media channels would have achieved what they wanted. And to be honest, I do enjoy watching the IPL matches, since they are shorter than the one day matches and good time pass!! The first and third seasons have coincided with my post delivery time at parents place in Bengalooru and my parents are avid IPL followers, watching nearly every match. So the point of this post was not to rant against the IPL, but to put across my view that showing the auction live on TV is inappropriate and unkind. 

Monthly musings

These are some thoughts which occured to me over the last month or so which do not merit individual posts (rather I dont have enough to write on each point) so am just jotting them down here

1. Swimming : Have rediscovered the joys of swimming. Its great fun, not too tiring and a great way to tone up. Why didn't we get club membership earlier? Why didn't I quit my job earlier? That said I managed to enjoy the pool for about a month before the weather changed in Bombay and it became too cold for a morning swim. Have always enjoyed swimming -started at 2 years in Singapore where my dad used to play Po Ba with me. Then when we moved to Delhi he taught me how to swim in the Delhi Gymkhana pool. But I was not confident enough to go in the deep end and used to do breadths in the shallow end only. Then one summer my cousin and I went for swimming coaching classes at the Jayanagar pool in Bangalore. That was an Olympic size pool and the coach was relentless- he used to make us take the paddle and do lengths up and down continously. He also taught the correct way to do freestyle- breathing once in five strokes by raising your head to the side. My cousin and I used to be quite terrified of him since he used to pinch us if we slacked around in the pool, and I remember getting butterflies in my stomach on the way to the swimming classes. But they were really good and when I got back to Delhi I could confidently do lengths and even took part in the swimming gala and won a couple of medals! That year we also moved to our Senior school in Delhi which had an Olympic sized pool and weekly swimming classes for us. I was asked to come for extra coaching in the evenings, and I remember the first evening I went I was overawed by the 12-12th standard boys and girls diving from the highest diving boards. But the extra classes were very strenous, and my mom was not struct enough to make me go (partly because we were anyway moving to London at the end of the year, and partly because I was getting a cold very often because of the evening swimming, but mainly I was too lazy and got away with it. Now I really regret that and wish I had stuck it out, my freestyle could have improved significantly, and maybe I would've learnt some other styels). We kept up the swimming in London, going to the local swimming pool. I remember we had a small accident and a huge fight with the owner of another car, once when we were driving out to the pool. The car owner worked for a taxi comapny, and even though it was a small scrap he staretd yelling and abusing and we got quite scared. It was only my mom and me and nobody came to support us, and finally my brother had to come and calm him down. Then when we shifted back to delhi, we continued with the bi weekly swims to Delhi Gymkhana. After college, i completely lost touch with swimming, at mba college there was not much time for swimming and Bangalore was too cold to swim most of the year, and ever since I've started working in Bombay I've never had good access to a club with a swimming (too expensive to take membership to a club near the house, and the one which is reciprocating with the Delhi Gymkhana where I have membership takes an hour to reach from the house). But now the new club is close to the house and swimming there is great fun, as the pool is not too crowded on weekdays . Only now suddenly Bombay has become too cold to go swimming in the mornings and afternoons i still try to grab some shut eye.

2. Book lovers and sports enthusiasts : Have been wondering is it possible to be both? Or even common to be both? When i look around at most of my friends/colleagues/relatives I find either book lovers or sports enthusiasts, or neither. But rarely both. Most of my friends are book lovers and manage to fit in books into their hectic schedules of work/looking after kids/travel etc and are up to date on the latest authors/trends etc. But they are not really into sports, I don't mean that they are not fit or anything, many of them gym/workout etc, but dont play a port for fun/watch sports on TV. Even when they were young they would not take part in many sporting activities. On the other hand my family is more sports oriented. My brother played many sports when he was younger and even now plays cricket when he gets a chance. He watches most sports on TV. My parents also follow cricket, tennis keenly, but are not great book lovers. As for me, I have always been more into sports. In my London school I was part of the school netball team, and my class rounders and athletics team. When we came back to Delhi I used to represent my house in all athletic events ranging from 100 m upto 800 m, long jump, discuss etc. I even stood for sports captain, but lost to a national level athlete. I still think I would have made a better sports captain as its more about organising sports activities/training students rather than being a winner yourself.  On the other hand my reading habits are abysmal. I rarely pick up books to read, preferring to watch TV if i get some spare time. I like thrillers best, but recently have found I lack the patience to read them fully. After about halfway I skip to the end to see what happens and then resume mid way if I find it interesting or just give up and move to the next book. I think its a lack of concentration and patience to finish books. Sports are just more exciting and finish faster. I think its rare for a person to be a book lover and a sports enthusiast, but that's just what I think. What do you feel?

That's it for now. Happy new year to all. 

Ajji Maney

S loves to be with her grandparents, and Ajji Manay (Grandmother's house) is the place to be. She's extremely attached to my mom who has spent a lot of time with us since S has been born, especially for a period of nearly 9 months around the time A was born. Ajji spent most of the time with S so that I could concentrate on A and I think this helped quite a bit to reduce the normal feelings of jealousy and angst when another child arrives to share the attention.

Ajji Manay, in addition to the main attraction of Ajji and Ajja also have Bingo and Elmo, our dogs, swings in the balcony for both the kids, an ongoing supply of snacks, ice cream, a park walking distance from the house and a many varied activities throughout the day such as feeding the dogs, watching the coconut collector climb the trees and pick the coconuts, watching the gardner, kids playing downstairs etc

As I mentioned earlier S is very attached to my mom and the last time we were here she was very upset to see her with the walker. When my dad came to Bombay the first thing she asked him was whether Ajji's walker has been thrown away. And when we came back here, my dad jokingly asked whether we should get the walker back and she actually got tears in her eyes. S wakes up early in the morning and goes to my mom, has her afternoon nap with her, and goes to Ajji for all her troubles (today when she fell down from the sofa, after i cleaned her up she ran to her Ajji to be comforted)

S is very fond of Ajja also. When he came to Bombay ( he came to pick us up on the way back from Pune, yes I am still extremely pampered, wonder how I will manage with no support in Zurich) she immediately went upto him and hugged him. Then they both spent time at the dining table, with my Dad writing a letter and S doodling on a paper. Then she made him read books to her and generally hung around with him the whole evening. Even in Bangalore she loves to go with her Ajja to the exercise room and do the cross trainer/ go down to his study and examine all the articles there.

A is also thrilled to be here. She seems to be more attached to my dad and is completely taken with the dogs. Anytime we need to get her to open her mouth for her food we say Elmo Bingo and voila. My dad takes her often to see the dogs, and also generously gives her his playing cards for her to destroy.

Being with grandparents is one of the best experiences for children, and I think this will be the biggest thing we miss out on by moving out of India. Otherwise S and A would see our parents every other month- with me coming to Bangalore at least twice a year and my parents coming over at least twice a year.

A walked today

A walked today for the first time. She was standing by herself, not holding onto anything in the middle of my mom's hall and I went towards her calling her to me and she took 3-4 steps towards me. She promptly sat down after that and crawled the rest of the distance towards me.

She's been walking holding onto the furniture for some time. But she's been very comfortable crawling at full speed all around the place to give the whole walking thing a try. But over the last week she's started standing without any support for some period of time and then trying to walk. Yesterday at my aunt's place she held onto the centre table and walked round and round for some time.

And today after her first few steps, she again tried, and after a couple of steps she held onto her sister S and started walking holding onto her as a walking support!! It was so cute, it looked like A was hugging S and S was the patient elder sister.

A has now two small teeth also and is quite the glutton for snacks- she loves tiger biscuits, breadsticks, gerber snacks and even murukku!!