February update on NY resolutions

1. Reading one book at least a month. Going well. Read Cinderella Syndrome for the book club (had to skype in for the discussion as the hubby was travelling!), and halfway through Sea of Poppies which has been highly recomended

2. Exercising 4 times a week : Not so good. Couple of weeks I could exercise only once/twice a weel. There was S ski break and she was home for 10 days and the hubby had also taken the week off so we ended up doing a lot of skiing and other things that week, and during the end of the month both kids were ill and home for a week, so the schedule went completely off. On the positive I can parallel ski now (i have to learn to break though so still on the baby slopes)

3. Making one new dish a month : Going well. Made a Pakistani recipe for bhaingan masala, channa dal with dhoodhi and idlis from scratch (and they were edible). Palak dal also. And enchilladas. Of course that mainly consisted of buying all the Mexican ingredients and bunging them in the oven , but its a start!

4. One hour a day with the kids: Going well. This month I got a lot of 'activity' time with S. This consists of her doing something from her 'activity books of stickers/alphabets/numbers' and A trying to steal her pen from her. Outside activities of craft at the Thursday playgroup. Friday swiming and Saturday ballet continue. Sunday is rest time for me and the hubby's turn to entertain the kids. We recently did the dinosaur musuem (small but very informative) and I did the winter zoo (saw a lovely penguin walk) when the hubby was travelling. This month i left the kids with the husband for a day when i went to London to visit a friend who'd had a baby. And they survived! And he survived! Movies, evenings out, days out, here i come!

5. Sleeping by 12 midnight. Going awfully. As can be seen by the time of this post. 12:25 am! The kids are sleeping early and I've gotten into this bad habit of watching TV till date. Gotta see The Good Wife, Desperate Housewives and 2 and 1./2 Men, or Friends on DVD. And this also leads to midnight snacking. Have to break both these habits soon.

And on the advice of a good friend am adding a new resolution for March. Reading at least 20 mins of financial related stuff a day. since I'm making my resume and thinking of looking for a job, my friend suggested i should get back in touch with the financial world so i don;t look like a complete dud if i get an interview call. But that's for March!

A feeling of being lost

I don't know what's come over me the last few weeks. But I'm suddenly overcome by a sensation of feeling lost. Maybe its because the hubby has been travelling a lot. Every week he's out on Monday and back on Friday and it's just me and the kids for the whole week. Maybe its because its been so non structured for the last few weeks, firstly with S's February 10 day break from school, and recently with both kids being unwell (of course with the hubby travelling). The days just slip by, and at the end of the day I'm wondering what happened, what did I do?

I don't know if its to do with not working. But it's just a funny sensation of there not being an end goal in sight, and me just plodding around aimlessly.

There's so many questions. Is S school good enough. She's not learning anything, and if we go back to India after 2 years she'll be so much behind. Should i go back to work? What about A then?

Maybe its because I've always really drifted along in life, aided with a conviction that things will work out. But suddenly so many things are out of my hands I really don't know where things are going.

Happy birthday lovies

Last month was S and A's birthdays. Sounds like a cliche but i can't believe how time flies by and how much they've grown.

S you are so much more independent now. You eat by yourself, you dress by yourself (and have already started having your favourites and non-favourites), you wave goodbye happily to me at school, and have already started asking when you can stay back for lunch at school. You have a best friend K, and the both of you have so much fun together and also fight so much together, you are like an old married couple as K's mom puts it! But you love to draw cards for K, call her home for a playdate and go to her house and play and generally hang around together. This year you've started so many new things. Swimming classes (you love splashing around in the water and are usually quite sporting to try the things the coach asks you to), skiing classes (not so much of a hit that we had to stop after the first three classes, maybe next year?), and ballet classes (you do love this, and will readily gulp down your milk to be in time for your ballet class). Actually the threat of no swimming class this week, or no ballet class this week helps to get you to do things much faster!

You love your little sister A so much. On the days she is in school without you, you are happy at home but seem a little lost. And the minute she's back you two are running around, playing one of your make up games or generally bouncing around. You like to make up games for you and A to play together, and keep telling her what to do and what not to do. Some of the times she readily listens to you, and some of the times she just does what she wants. And oh the fights. They've already started. A must have the book/toy you are playing with immediately and vice versa. Usually you are a sweetie and hand it over to A (after a fuss and grumble to me) but sometimes you stand your ground and then we have to hear A howl for the next 10 mins! Of course the minute you give it to her, she'll just throw it on the ground and walk away, it's all power play you see. But you are so protective of A, when you play in the park together, or are out together anywhere you always look out for her, and when she's grumpy or cranky you try to cheer her up. I hope you two remain like this always.

You love books and can never get enough of being read to. You like to sit by yourself and see the pictures in the books (and pretend read it!) and you have an amazing memory- sometimes when I skip over some of the sentences hoping to shorten the 5 stories i have to read in the night to you, you always catch me out! You still enjoy jigsaw puzzles and that is the favourite thing for us to get you. You've started enjoying board games (finally i have a partner in crime) and want to play kids dumb charades any time your friends come over for a play date.

You love to play in the snow and make snowballs and throw it at us. Sledding and skiing is not much of a hit with you, but you are happy being out in the cold.

You surprise me with your maturity sometimes. You love your pink toys, and when i picked up a glittery pink mobile toy for you you asked me to put it back since you already had one. And when i started the no TV for dinner rule, you agreed for it with no fuss. I'm sorry i lose my temper sometimes and shout for the silliest of things, its just in my nature to always set the bar higher for you and expect you to reach it. I love you sweetie. I'm still not willing to put you in the afternoon session in school everyday. From August you'll be at school the whole day anyway and I want to treasure these next few months together as much as possible.

A you're now a girl with your own mind. You want to eat what Akka (big sister S) is eating, and play what she's playing. There's no fobbing you off with the smaller sister stuff. For the last few nights you've wanted to play intsy wintsy spider board game before sleeping and you'll sit with S and me and wait your turn, and roll the die and spin the wheel and play the board game like such a big girl. You have your favourite books- Barney, Lion King, Snuggle Bunny, Jungle Book, Bubbles, Tiger who came to Tea and you'll insist on having at least one of them read to you alongwith Akka's book selection at bed time. You love your school now (touch wood) and clap happily when i pull into the parking to drop you at school. You rarely cry when i drop you off and are usually cheerful when i pick you up. You're still not having your lunch at school properly (you stay for lunch once a week) but you're sleeping ok, playing well and are generally happy so I don't mind too much.

And you're started speaking so much, and suddenly. Of course a lot of it is " Akka hit me, Akka pinched me, Akka stamped on my hands" - remember the story of the wolf? I don't buy Akka hitting you so much. Especially when you say it in your sleep!

You are not a snow baby. You refuse to wear your gloves so you're freezing in the -20 degrees in the mountains so you don't enjoy it. But you love the water and happily splash around in the swimming pool after Akka's class. You know your favourite paddle pool in the swimming pool and keep asking to go to it.

You miss your daddy when he goes on his long travels now. Whenever i scold you or tell you not to do something, you'll go to the door and shout for daddy. Like he's going to come and rescue you from your evil mom! You already know and like your TV programs and movies (yes i know i'm a terrible mom for letting you watch so much tV) and like Dora, Ice Age and Jungle Book. But you won't cry if i put off the TV. You'll instead bounce on top of the sofa and climb all over us!

You love going to the park, and everytime we get ready to go out you'll ask whether we're going to the park. You don't like the swing (why? why?) but love the slide, the seesaw and the sand pit. Bubbles are your favourite and you want to do everything Akka does in the park, including climbing up high ropes in which you get stuck halfway.

You parrot everything your Akka says and its hilarious to hear S says "I found it first" and then hear you say "I found it first" ! I love you sweetheart, and i sometimes feel bad to see my baby grow up so fast.

Happy birthday dearies. Cheers to many more celebrations!!

Brrrr its cold

It's minus 15 degrees celsius as I write this. Helps that it's night time and i can snuggle in my bed. But it's not that better during the day. Today morning when i stepped out to drop the kids to school it was minus 11 degrees. I couldn't feel my nose when i was walking. And if you take your gloves off for even 5 seconds, you're hands get frozen immediately and turn red.

S loves the cold and the snow. She's ever eager to make snowballs, run around in the snow, do sledding etc. A finds it too cold. She gets irritated with her gloves and then finds it too cold to be outside. I've taught her to put her hands in her jacket pocket to avoid the cold, and I think she's internalised this pretty well. Today afternoon when i woke her up from her afternoon nap, she was trying to put her hands inside her shirt in her sleep, saying 'hands in pocket'.

The morning drop off to school is tiring. The car is parked outside and gets covered in snow. It takes me ten minutes to bundle the kids up, carry A to the car (it's slippery in the ice), put them in, scrape the snow off the car, and run the heater for 5 mins before the windscreen is clear enough for me to drive. Tuesdays and Thursdays are especially bad as I have to drop S to the main school where the car park is a 350 m walk from the school building and A finds it really cold to be out and about so early in the morning. Still there are younger kids braving it out so I should not complain.

The city is beautiful in the snow. Everything is covered in white and looks so serene and pretty. On the days the sun comes out is radiates off the snow and everything looks spectacular. I can't say I'm enjoying the cold, but its not as bad as I'd expected. We're planning to go tomorrow and buy a sled for S so that she can enjoy the snow more while it lasts.

Till then, back to my yummy hot chocolate..

Jan update on New Years resolutions

So here's the January update on my resolutions

1. Spend at least 1 hour quality time with the kids daily : This is going well. I try to do at least 1/2 hour to 45 mins activity with S daily, and play in the toyroom for another 15 mins. I include the Thursday playgroup, and Friday swimming in this, and from tomorrow S starts ballet on Saturdays so that will also be included. It helped that the hubby was away for 2 weeks- i didn't spend much time cooking or on the dishes, so got more time to spend with the kids. For the last few days I've also stopped TV at night- i realised it was getting a bit too much- 45 mins in the afternoon and another 1/2 hour at night, and S was taking longer and longer to eat just watchignt eh idiot box. So at night i read a book to A and feed her and S eats by herself, usually while looking at a book. 2. Exercise at least 4 times a week. Sigh, this is not going so well. Combination of things. With the hubby away, I've not been able to

take time off in the weekends to exercise, and last few weeks have

been busier than usual what with trying to organise S birthday party, do a coffee morning for parents at school. take full advantage of the winter sale in the shops. It's down to 3 times a week. The only positive is that I'm upto 5 km in 36 mins .

3. Read at least 1 book a month. This is going well. This month I've managed to read (ok i have another 50 pages left but it's a 600+ page book) "The Corrections" by Jonathon Franzen for the book club. Good idea to join the book club, at least there is some pressure to finish a book, so when i have 1/2 hour at night i take up the book instead of watching TV or surfing the net. The book is interesting, the first 50 pages were tedious, but the rest has been well paced and well written. 4. Try to sleep by 11:30 every night, and get the kids to bed by a reasonable time. This is going TERRIBLY. The last two weeks I've been taking the kids out a lot during the day to make up for not having their daddy home in the evenings. We've been visiting S' friend who lives close to us and going sledding with her, going to the zooligical musuem at the university, going to the Zoo, going to a friend's place for dinner, and their schedule has gone haywire. They are taking their afternoon nap as late as 4 in the afternoon and not able to sleep before 11 at night. This means they are awfully tired for school the next day and again have to take a 2 hour nap in the afternoon. Have to change this quickly. Also if they sleep only at 11, then after finishing the household work, if i read/surf the net for an hour i end up sleeping only at 1. Yawn yawn. I also end up napping the afternoon now. 5. Cook one new dish a week. This is going well. So far I made three new dishes this month. Carrot kosambri- grated carrot sabzi basically. And dhoodhi and channa dal sanzi, and soya bean curry. I also managed to bake a half decent set of brownies (with a mix though). So that's the update this month.

I wonder how they manage

I wonder how they do it. Single parents, that is.

The husband is on a long business trip (2 weeks!!!!) and I'm really struggling after the first week. Firstly there's something strange about my body's reaction to the knowledge that I am alone and solely responsible for the kids for the next 3 days/1 week/2 weeks. The last time the husband was out for 4 days I got a severe stomach upset on one of the nights, so bad that I wanted to faint. I somehow held it together till bed time and collapsed in bed. The next morning i was fine. Of course i haven't got a stomach ache before or since.

And then today. I woke up with a headache but i thought it would be cured by 3 coffees. I had slept enough - from 10:45 last night till 8 this morning, only interrupted a couple of times by A (can you believe it she's nearly 2 and still wakes up so often and cries in the night! poetic justice for having S who slept through the night from 8 months onwards) and thought the headache would go away. Bad mistake. I had taken S (and A of course) for a trial ballet class and the headache got worse and worse during the class. And after the class we did some grocery shopping and then S wanted to play in the snow and by the time we were ready to leave myhead was splitting, I was feeling nauseas and my hands were shaking. I prayed to all the Gods to help me drive back home safely. Somehow made it home where I put the TV on, put the kids in front of it, took a Saradon and told S to look after A and not trouble me for 15 mins. I was not actually much better after 15 mins but the kids lunch had to be prepared and A had to be fed and I somehow had to get it done.

I'm really missing the hubby this time. Weekdays are somehow manageable with the kids school and their activities. Monday and Thursday I have my German class. Thursday is the children's playgroup in the afternoon and Friday is S swimming class. About once a week we go over to S friend's house for a playdate or they come over. So the days pass by quickly.

But the weekends are a different story. I don't like to trouble friends and intrude on their family time (here everyone likes to spend weekends only with family) so I need to plan activities for the kids alone. Luckily this time, S friend's dad is also out of town on Sunday so me and the other mom are planning to catch up with the girls for an early dinner. But today i felt quite out of it when saw that most of the other families all my friends were either in the mountains skiing, or in neighbouring France/Germany. Facebook damn you! And i am not driving alone into the mountains with these two brats!

Anyway coming back to the main point of this post. Really i don't know how single parents manage. To bring up kids alone itself is a huge challenge. And then work on top of it? Which means that the half an hour you get free in a day after doing all the housework and looking after the kids you're probably checking your BB to see if anything urgent has come up. I am struggling to manage alone for 2 weeks and people do it their whole life!

Ski lessons

And so we had our first skiing experience last Sunday. We went to a nearby ski resort (Hoch YBrig, which is 1 hour 15 mins away) which has a good beginners slope. We had booked 4 hours of classes and managed to get about 3 hours done (what with the time taken to rent skis, get outfitted, trek all the way to the slope with 2 kids, factor in the kids lunch etc etc). But it was good fun and a whole lot better than I expected.

S had her first lesson too. I was in the playroom with A (its really convenient, they have a creche right next to the slope so you can leave your kids there and go skiiing and pick them up when you're done, and its right next to the slope so you can keep dropping in and checking if they're ok) so I didn't get to see much of what S did but the hubby said she did good. She was a bit scared of going with the trainer and fell down quite a few times as well, but when I asked her later whether she wanted to go again she said yes!

I found everything about skiing extremely difficult. The heavy boots, the long skiis, difficulty in walking up slopes and extreme difficulty in braking! I just couldn't learn how to stop and fell down at least 5 times. I guess it will come with time and practise. And so much effort - taking a gondola up, wearing some 3 layers of clothes, making the kids wear three layers of clothes, the heavy boots which bite into your leg after some time...

But the snow topped mountains and view is so amazing, and watching the other skiiers ski gracefully down the mountains is so awesome that you don't mind the effort. And with the sun shining you don't even feel that cold!

So we're definetly going again next weekend....even if it is do fall down another 5 times.