Dear Ajja and Ajji

Dear Ajja and Ajji

You left just yesterday but we already miss you terribly.

Ajja, you came daily to drop me at my school and pick me from my school, never mind that you you had to rush through your morning coffee, or skip it completely sometimes and catch a hurried breakfast afterwards, or rush through a morning activity between the dropping and the picking up. You spoke to my teacher, asked me daily how my day was , what I did, whom I played with and even remembered the names of my class mates. A adds, Ajja you felt so sad when you came to drop me and heard me crying as soon as mummy parked the car and tried to cheer me up. When you came to pick me up, you always said cheerful things and tickled me from the front of the car to improve my mood.

Ajja, you let us destroy your playing cards set. S says, you taught me the four suits in cards (something even Daddy does not know yet) and am waiting for you to teach me bridge when I grow up. A says, you patiently watch as I throw the cards all around the room, or start bending them, happily babysit us and play silly games like wearing rubber bands/bindis etc to keep us amused. You never get angry with us even when we shout loudly during your afternoon nap, or barge into your room looking for a change of clothes (S specialty).

Ajji dear, you love and pamper us unconditionally. S says, you tie my hair up every morning (and make sure its well brushed and oiled, not hurriedly put into a ponytail like mom does) and never lose your patience however much I scream. You read so many stories to me, in the afternoon at night during the day whenever I ask for one. You give up your afternoon nap to do activity with me and still have the energy and enthusiasm to take me to the park while mummy has her German class. You whip up new delights for me to eat and patiently watch as I dilly dally over my milk and food.

And A says, I am nannoo and you are ammamma. . You are my big mommy. Always finding time to sit in the toyroom and play with me, teach me drawing, entertaining me while mummy tried to feed me, and consoling me when I fight with my big sister. You involve me in all activities you do with akka, be it drawing, reading, puzzles. You don't mind when i open all your creams and liberally apply them over myself and you, attack and destroy all your bindis and general make a complete mess on your bed. You patiently play with me in the afternoon, while mummy is either napping (lazy mom) or out somewhere and put me gently to sleep when I'm tired, not when you are feeling tired. You always find time to pick me up and hug me even when you're in the middle of cooking. At the park you watch as I run after S trying to do whatever she does, and keep all the pebbles I keep coming and giving you.

We miss sitting on your bed, putting the fan on and playing with you and Ajja. Come back soon.

We can't wait to see you in December. Do remember to put in the second swing!

Love S and A

The concern is overwhelming

So today was one of those exhausting days with school drops and pick ups, exercise, grocery, doctor's visit, park etc all squeezed in and literally no time to sit down and catch my breath and I was quite exhausted by the end of it.

When i was giving S her bath at night she looks at me and says "Mamma you are looking tired". I say, "Yes dear, today was very tiring" Then she again looks at me and says "You are looking sad". I say "No dear, I'm just very tired, I did blah blah blah blah today".

She looks at me for some time and looks worried, and I think she's going to tell me to relax or offer to clean up her toys at night or something to that effect, when she looks at me and says in a worried tone "So who will read books to me at night?"

Clearly she has her priorities right...

Pizza time

S had her first cooking session today in school. Once a week the teacher takes small batches of children in the class and cooks alongwith them. Today was S turn and she helped the teacher make salami and corn pizza. She proudly showed it to me when i picked her up from school, and ate half of it in the car (she is such a fuss pot when it comes to pizza otherwise and wants absolutely no toppings on them!). Her daddy got the other half at dinner time at home (i couldn't have it due to the salami :( and proudly pronounced that it was the best pizza he's had in Zurich!

S has been offering to help me with the cooking when she sees me struggle in the kitchen and keeps saying that when she grows up she will buy the vegetables and cook in the kitchen. No dear, its your time to play and have fun. And make fun things in class. Which reminds me, moms also get to volunteer to cook in the school, have been too lazy to put down my name..should get around to doing it soon. Any suggestions what to make?

Just an update

The update for this month

1. S has started sleeping on her own! We got her a Car Bed (Shaped liked Lightning Mc Queen from Cars) and kept it in our bedroom itself, and she's taken very well to it. Sometimes she asks me whether any crocodiles will come, but usually she falls asleep pretty fast after being tucked in and is finally getting a good night's sleep without being kicked and poked by A. In the mornings she climbs onto our bed for huggy time before the morning routine starts.

2. I got my car. Yippee. I got a Blue Renault Clio and am highly thrilled with it. Its a manual car and its quite strange to have the gear on the right hand side, but its a small car and easy to drive and park. I'm still getting used to driving on the right hand side of the road and the other day on the way back from the park , I took a turn onto the main road and was about to drive on the left hand side when I saw some cars coming towards me and quickly shifted to the right. The left hand drive is also difficult to get used to, and I find myself leaving too much place on the left hand side of the car and too less on the right (sometimes end up scraping the kerb). Am highly scared of the trams here and the 10 000 road rules so I'm only driving the kids to school and back and slowly venturing to other closeby places like the park, the doctor's clinic etc. My main three handicaps are parallel parking (can;t do!), starting on an incline (big issue here as we live on a hill, I use the handbreak everytime I start on an incline otherwise the car starts sliding backwards) and being a big scaredy cat (and driving very slowly)- I've got many honks and frustrated looks from the people in the cars behind as most of the roads in the city are narrow and you can't overtake easily. Maybe I should get an L board and people will be more patient!

3. My parents are here and the girls are loving it. S was anyway very close to my parents and A is also now becoming very attached to them. In the mornings my mom gets S ready for school, S dresses herself but insists that her Ajji brush her hair and put two rubber bands and four clips for her! My dad comes with me to drop and pick S at/ from school and listens intently to what she did that day at school. Then S afternoon nap time has been replaced with activity time with her Ajji and bedtime has my mom reading her favourite books to her. A plays with her Ajji while I drop S at school (after they leave she will have to come with me to drop and pick up S) and is totally thrilled with the small things my mom has - a clip box for S, alarm clock, powder box etc . Today after I got A back from the daycare, my mom opened the door and A ran into her arms. Sometimes I really wish we were back in India so the kids could spend more time with their grandparents. They will never get such unconditional love and affection here.

4. A's break in period at the daycare ended today. It spanned a week. The first day I sat with A inside the whole time . The teacher sat with us and tried to engage A in some play activity. The second I sat with her for half an hour, then said bye to her, waited outside for 45 minute and came back. The third day I sat with her for twenty minutes, then said bye to her, walked around outside for 1 hour and came back. The fourth day i just dropped her off and said bye at the door and picked her up after 1 1/2 hours. And today, I just dropped her off and picked her up after 2 hours. Touchwood, its steadily improving. She still howls when I leave, but I believe from the teachers that she settles down pretty soon. Today I left my key behind when I dropped her off and had to go back inside after 2 mins, and while she was howling when I left, 2 mins later she was silent. And asleep when I went to pick her up after 2 hours! Dear A, I hope you are happy and safe in the daycare and have fun playing with other children and teachers there. Also I hope your behaviour doesn't change as soon as I blog about how you are improving!

5. And finally the weather has been burning hot here. 31 degreees everday and it feels much hotter as the sun rays are more direct here and the places are not equipped for such hot weather, most of them don;t have AC/fan. I'm actually looking forward to the autumn setting in!

Growing up

S recently turned three and a half, and A one and a half. For me, this is a big milestone because when A was an infant then through the sleepless nights (for the first month and a half she slept only around 4 am, and from the eighth month onwards she suddenly started waking every hour) and the difficulty in feeding (from the time she was 3 months to 7 months A would refuse milk every other feed and feeding her was an exercise in frustration), and through the difficult periods with S (she would scream when I started feeding A and have sudden mood swings related to me spending time with A) at the back of my mind I kept thinking let S turn 3 and 1/2 and A turn 1 and a 1/2 and things will improve.

And touchwood they have. So mothers with young kids, have hope.

Physically, the work required is much lesser. Their meal times and sleep schedules coincide. I continue to make life difficult for myself by feeding them different food from each other, but I A already asks for whatever S is having, and feeds herself the same from a bowl while I try to feed her her normal diet. So I guess very soon their diets will also coincide.

Emotionally, the two are great company for each other. In an earlier post I had mentioned how great a baby sitter S is. And its true, I'm able to get a lot of the housework done with S entertaining A. Half the time in the kitchen I can hear S inventing some game for the two of them to play together, or giving A a lecture on how she was not supposed to do something. The other day I found them both lying on the bean bag together and reading books!! S was looking through the pictures in her favourite book, and A ever ready to copy her sister was also lying down and reading a book (which was upside down).

If S was not around I would find it a lot tougher to look after A. When we go on holidays, many a time the kids would be playing quietly (or not) together while the hubby and I can chat- whether it be at the beach when they play in the sand together, or in the hotel room where they'll be jumping on the sofa together. They have a ready playmate in each other, and also get confidence in being together- S used to refuse to sit alone in a playroom in a restaurant while the hubby and I ate, but now with A in tow, the two of them can keep each other busy for a while in a separate play room while we have a meal without constant interruption. The park is also much easier as A insists on doing whatever S does and is now physically capable of doing many of the things- swings, slides ( not climbing up though), sandpits, paddle pool etc. And S does look out for A quite a bit. Sometimes I can just sit on the bench and surf the net while the two of them play in the sandpit secure in the knowledge that if A does something very naughty I will hear a sharp note of admonishment from S.

Yes there are challenges and difficulties. I find it difficult to do activities with S because A wants to do everything, so if S is writing something in a book A will also want a pen (and the next thing I know the sofa is full of scribbles!) and I'm able to spend less time with S and A individually than I would have liked to. Sometimes I feel S is getting slowed down because of A, because A wants to do everything S does and I end up telling S to stop doing something, or do it later (which never finally happens). Hopefully this will get solved once their school routine is set in because twice a week S will be in school on days when A is not at daycare and I'll get to spend time with A, and once a week A will be in the daycare for a couple of hours after S school gets over, and right now I've promised myself to do something fun with S for those couple of hours every week.

So my darling S and A, you've both grown so much and adjusted to having each other around. I hope you always remain the best of friends (and make life easy for me :))

First days of school

Last week we had the first day of school for S and first day of daycare for A. I was quite impressed with S school and the way they handled the break in period. The previous week S received a postcard from her classteacher welcoming her to the school and saying how much S would enjoy it. I put it up on the fridge and S was most excited. She managed to remember the name of the teacher, which was quite a mouthful and proudly showed the card to daddy, Ajja and Ajji(who arrived early last week). The first day for the children was split into two first days with half the class attending on the first day and the second half attending on the second day so the teacher got to spend more time with the children on a one on one basis. The timing was also shorter with the session only from 8:40-11 am and increasing upto the normal timings of 8:30-12 pm from the second week (next week). S ' turn came on the second day which was good as we had the parent teacher orientation the previous evening and S came along and met her teacher there.

The first day was a challenge for both me and S. First we had to all get up at 7 am (and not the 8:30 am we have all become used to) and finish the morning routine of milk, A's breakfast, their potty routines, getting dressed etc etc by 8:10 am. And I had to drive to S school (I really really regret not driving more in Mumbai now as I'm so scared to drive here now and actually its much simpler as the traffic is extremely orderly here) and I have been driving only some 3 times here (my car came last Friday, yippee!) and refuse to drive without a trained driver next to me (just in case of any emergency like me completely panicking and being unable to drive but more on that in another post). So for a couple of days before S' first we had a dry run. waking up the kids at 7 am, getting them ready by 8:15, me driving with the hubby to S school and back. On D day, the hubby had to be away in Germany for a conference so my dad kindly escorted me to S school. I prepared S throughout the journey- mummy can't come inside with you, I'll come and pick you up at 11 am, you know the teacher you met her yesterday, have fun and play with toys. But still when I dropped her off in her class room I was worried, what if she got scared and starts crying? Will they care for her and pamper her the way they used to in her school in Mumbai? Or will they expect her to be old enough to look after herself? But I needn't have worried, Thank God, as the first day went off really well. I left S inside her class, kept her bottle of water and box of biscuits on the table (no time for her breakfast, she just had enough time for milk) and waved good bye and left immediately. When I went to pick her up at 11 am (again kindly escorted by my dear Dad) she was fine , happy, and the teacher said that she had been comfortable throughout. She had played, had snacks (fruits and bread) and done activities quite happily. Luckily, touchwood, the second day went well as well, and now its the weekend.

Dear S, you are growing up so fast, you've become so much more independent, and confident now. I hope you are always happy and comfortable in your school, and remember your mummy will always be waiting to hear how your day went.

A had her first day in the daycare on Friday. There is a breakin period of 5-6 days where the parent has to be with the child in the daycare and gradually start leaving the child there for short intervals of time, and by the end of 5-6 days once the child is settled in they are left for the full period. I've enrolled A for three half days, keeping fingers crossed. On Friday we were there only for an hour. In the first half hour the children formed a circle with the teachers/caregivers and sang German rhymes. A was least interested and refused to participate and sat on my lap watching the proceedings with little interest. I tried to do the actions (as i could not sing along in German) but A was not impressed. At one point she got quite aggravated and threw herself on the floor in the middle of the circle much to the other children's astonishment. The second half hour went better. The younger children (3 months to 2 years) moved to the other part of the daycare and A started playing with the toys there by herself while I sat at a table and spoke to one of the teachers. She was quite happy for some time by herself but after a while she came next to me and insisted on sitting on my lap. I knew it was time to go. From next week they've asked me to bring her in for longer and start going out for brief intervals and the plan is that by next Friday I should be able to leave her for her full session (8:30-11:30). The teachers seemed to be quite kind and caring, they had the younger ones on their laps and were reading out books to them and the children all seemed happy. So I hope A settles down well next week. A you are a clingy little thing, most happy on my lap, smiling at other people, I hope you are happy in the daycare and are well cared for, and have fun and make friends. I have not thought about what the option is if A is unhappy, guess we will take things as they come.

So the girls are off to school. People ask me what I will do with all this FREE time. Well other than the fact that I will be dropping and picking them up for half the day, I also have lots of exciting housework which needs to be done and cooking so that I can spend time with the kids once they are back , so as of now don't have any exciting plans of what I;m going to do. Just want the kids to be in some kind of routine because once the winter months set in it will be difficult to take them out to parks/other activities as easily and then the school/daycare will have to be one of their main entertainment avenues!

The benefits of Hindsight

December 2009-March 2010

Me, listening to November Rain in my room in campus, for the 100th time, crying bitter tears about not clearing any interviews, convinced I'll never get a decent job, end up in a PSU, not have a great career. Rewind song, lock door, puff away and weep copious tears.

Forward to August 2011

Me, running on the treadmill, listening to November Rain. Watching S and A sleep in the bedroom. No immediate plans of entering the rat race. Looking for excuses to delay applying for a job as much as possible. Know that a year or two is not going to make such a big difference. Rewind song, increase speed and incline on the treadmill, run some more.

Aah the benefit of hindsight. If someone had told me none of this matters 11 years back..